


Wait, What Happened?!

by Alicethebluepheonix



Series: What, Where,When, Why, Who, How? [1]
Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: Flirting, H2OVanoss - Freeform, Humor, Implied Relationships, Intoxication, Jealousy, M/M, Party, Some darkness, Very Little Sanity, everyone flirting, tiny sprinkle of angst, trying new things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-09-19 01:01:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 23,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9410576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alicethebluepheonix/pseuds/Alicethebluepheonix
Summary: Delirious is tired of all the questions.





	1. 10% Sane

Delirious woke up to the warm sunshine coming through the window. It took him a while to register that he was in a hotel room and he was . . naked? He thought for a moment. He didn’t have a hangover so why couldn’t he remember anything? Then Evan walked into the room, wearing only a towel, stopping to stare at delirious’s confused face. That’s when every single bit of the last week came flooding back into is brain. 

Delirious pov - a month ago

The guys were going to Vidcon and of course he hadn’t planned on going. The guys on the other hand were determined to convince him to go, they asked him outside of recording sessions and during videos so of course the subscribers jumped in on it. It had turned into a huge plot against him at least that’s how it felt. Eventually, they did stop asking and a month went by and PAX was two days away he thought for sure someone was gonna bring it up one more time. No one did. As he was laying in bed that night, he realized that this was never going to end . . all the questions about his life . . . about his appearance. It was getting annoying. He never expected to be this big on Youtube. He dreamt of it but never expected this. How many people are just watching me cause there waiting for me to show my face . . . do they even care about my videos. I can’t even talk to Vanoss without thinking about how someone's going to use it to pair us together. I don’t even know if i like him like that or not. He is attractive though. UGH! THIS IS DRIVING ME EVEN MORE FUCKING INSANE THEN I ALREADY WAS! This was about the time when i decide to put my earbuds in and dance my heart out. I don’t think i’m a good dancer but i’ve been told I was. I’m pretty sure they're just being nice. I say as i turn on Miss Jackson by Panic at the Disco and the dance begins. I used to jump on my bed but after a few jumps and hitting my head on the ceiling twice I decided it might not be the best idea. In the middle of my dancing i see the notification light on my phone go off. I walk over to check it. Its Cartoonz. I open it up . . .

Luke- Hey i’m swy bout the guys i kno they been bugging ya.  
Me-its fine . . i’m fine it happens evry year i’m used to it now. Wsnt expec them to be so persistant tho.  
Luke- you sure ur good?  
Me-yeah

A idea pops into my head and I tell Luke i’m going to bed. I hop onto my laptop and search up plane tickets to L.A am i really going to do this? Why the hell not i’ve lost 90% of my sanity already what’s the last 10% going to do?


	2. Surprise For the guys.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He's gonna show his face but lets have fun first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might want to look up the Rita-Carlton in L.A for reference. If you want. :)

-day before PAX-  
Del pov

I can't believe i'm doing this, is all i think to myself as I feel the plane land in L.A the past couple of hours has been a blur. I honestly thought i would be nervous about the flight but i put my earbuds in and it went by without me noticing. I stop to take in the city. Its not the first time i've been here but . . . this trip could make my life a lot different. So i take in how i view the world now and hope it doesn't change to much by the time i leave. I really hope the guys will like me. I'm snapped out of thought when i'm almost hit by a car. Wow, way to go Johnny, you've been here like 30 minutes and you almost killed yourself. I need to get my head outta my arse before i really do cause some damage. I finally reached my hotel, The Rita-Carlton, I get my key and head straight to my room. I flop down on the memory foam bed and sink right in. I audibly sigh wishing my bed at home felt this good. I look around the room, to see if everything is to my liking. Of course it is, it 500 dollars a night. Its right in the middle of everything and the view is amazing. Well, at least if things don't go as planned i can come back and just have a normal vacation. Damn. This is nice. Alright enough or i'm never gonna leave this room. I sit down and set up my laptop and take some leftover footage of gta and post it on my channel to keep the subs happy. My next move was to figure out what i was gonna wear tomorrow. First impressions are important even at a gaming convention. I pull out a simple outfit and set it aside for tomorrow. i realize the sun is setting but its only 6 and i was starting to feel anxious so i head to the roof for a swim. By the time i get back to the room is 9 pm and i've finally relieved enough tension in my body to sleep. I hop in the shower. The last bit of tension in my body washing away with the hot water. Actually that OW that's a little too hot. Shit. After i get out the shower and cool off a bit i'm practically sleep walking. I get under the covers, reaching over to the side table to make sure my alarm is set, i snuggle into the most comfortable bed ever. 

-General pov-  
The guys had a nice hotel too however, they don't know what kind of luxury's the clown had. Not that it matter they all fell asleep as soon as they got to there rooms. They had spent the whole day wandering around L.A. Although the night was fun, the issue was now waking up in the morning to get read. Vanoss, Tyler, and Miniladd were one of the first people to be on the panel so they had to be there early. It didn't feel like long before the guys were up again and giving each other wake up calls.  
Mini- i can't help but feel like we could of planned this better.  
Nogla- Shut up we don't have time to talk about that Craig!  
Mini-Goodness your not a morning person are you.  
Nogla- Maybe if i wasn't in ah rush!  
The guys were all in the lobby picking up their complimentary breakfast. Of course not taking much time to actually eat it and rushed out the door and down the street to the convention.  
Meanwhile  
Delirious Didn't exactly have a reason to rush, he was just another nerd in the crowd. He was feeling more confident than he expected. He thought as he stared into the mirror. His dark blue eyes with flakes of white and gold looking back at him as he looked at the sleeves of tattoos all over his arms. There was a dragon made of water on his back. He tossed a grey shirt over his head before spiking up his black hair. Trying not to think about how the guys will feel about the multiple piercing on his ears. He heads out of the bathroom and sits on his bed so he can lace up his black and blue checkered Vans. He put his earbuds in and stood in front of the full length mirror checking his appearance he was happy with it even though he looked a bit like a punk drummer. He tossed on his light blue jacket to cover the tats and started his journey to the convention center. It didn't take long before he's was at the doors of the center. 

When he finally walked in the smell of of nerds hit him like a wave most would be repulsed but looking around Delirious was a kid in a candy store. He got a couple looks from some girls and a few boys as he walked around looking at all the neat stuff he could buy and was going to buy. He knew he wanted to go to the panel so he slowly made his way over by the time he got there he had bought there three dragon ball action figure and two fallout four trophy's. Luckily the Vanoss, Mini, and Tyler were still up there, just answering fan questions now. He was sitting and watching he never knew Evan was so awkward, well he did but not that awkward. He's even more adorable. In fact all the guys from the crew he could see were more attractive in some way in person. He had told the guys a while back that he was bisexual so that's one less thing he had to worry about. Evan already knew he kind of liked him . . . honestly Johnathan was starting to wander why he was so nervous they already knew most of the things he was worried they wouldn't except. Is his appearance really the only thing left? Well, that and his old job but lets not go there. Just then a cute girl with aqua hair came up to him and attempted to make a flirty face but it didn't come out quite right. He made a excuse and tried to get away he walked around a bit. Making sure he didn't accidentally bump into someone he knew because if he talked they would definitly know. He was walking along till he saw something out the corner of his eye.  
Delirious- . . . Is that . . no fucking way!  
Delirious said to himself as he look at a replica of Wrench's mask from watch dogs 2.  
Delirious- Oh I have GOT to buy that!  
And so Delirious was once again distracted. He only thought why hasn't he come here sooner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will delirious ever stop shopping?  
> i will eventually explain why he has so much money.


	3. Surprise for the guys Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Delirious has a new mask and a new plan.

Delirious was trying to hunt down the the person to ask to buy the mask, it didn't take long. The guys name was Jared and he was very pleased to help AFTER he found out that Delirious did in fact have money to buy one and wasn't just another fanboy or girl trying to make conversation with him. Eventually after some 'negotiation' which mostly consisting of Delirious bargaining with the guy, Jared lead John behind a curtain and showed him a case with three other masks in it. Blue, red, and green. Of course Delirious chose blue the guy explained that he could actually wear it and see out of it. Which excited him even more especially after the Xs on the eyes flickered a bit for effect. Delirious gave the guy money without hesitation and immediately put the mask on. Delirious was surprised, it was just like looking out of goggles, his vision wasn't impaired at all. No wonder the cost was so high, it was definitely worth it. Just to keep the character going, he pulled up his hood, As he walked through the crowds. He could see the crowd thinning and was trying to decided whether he was going to go back to his hotel to put all his stuff down or not. He was thinking so hard about his decision he practically ran into Tyler. He muttered a apology but slowed down a little when his voice came out different. 

Tyler- Dude that mask is FUCKIN sick! Where'd you get it. 

Delirious hesitated for a minute before telling Wildcat that he got it from a guy named Jared and pointed to one of the little booths. As Tyler walked away Delirious was still thrown off by his voice. If he got the chance he should probably talk to Jared again and ask exactly what this mask can do. Its not like it had a manual. It was definitely a level up from his Jason mask. He started to walk around again making a mental noting every time he saw one of the guys. Eventually he had to stop looking around because he could feel the bag he was caring his newly bought items in starting to break. He walk a few more steps and looked for a new bag . He ended up buying a black backpack with the words game over carved into them with a crazy teddy bear carver into the corner of it. After re-adjusting him self he went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror.  
Delirious- Damn, i look badass.  
Although that was true if his friend should be able figure out that this was him by the blue hoodie, the mask, and the crazy teddy bear on his backpack. Even though its not Jason's mask its a mask all the same. With that in mind Johnathan had a new idea. He was once again headed back into the crowd which had gotten thick like earlier in the day, probably because most were back from lunch. It was perfect he was gonna try and become friends with his friends all over again to see what happens. Tyler was his best bet considering he had help him earlier. He spent ten minutes looking around for him. He started to worry that they left. Then he saw him trying to talk to Jared. Tyler must not have enough money because Tyler leaves looking rather disappointed. He walks up to him. Trying to mentally prepare himself that his voice will be different so he doesn't stutter. He taps him on the shoulder.

Tyler- Oh hey its you again  
Del- Did you get your mask?  
Tyler- Fuck no, i didn't have 750 dollars on me. What kind of dumbass carries that much money on them anyway?  
Del- . . . (tilting his head)  
Tyler- Oh shit no offence to you do . . . my bad.  
Del- it's fine.  
Tyler- i'd probably look fucking stupid in it anyway. i'd also be a copycat.  
Del-well you are Wildcat. . .  
Delirious suddenly felt really nervous. Did he mess up?  
Tyler-You watch my vids?  
Delirious- Ummm . . . i mean sometimes . . . when i'm trying to relax but i usually play most of the games myself. I watch you and Vanoss and some of the others . . .  
Tyler- hmm so your not serious not a hardcore fan are you subscribed to me.  
Delirious- why? you can't make me subscribe to you. (sounding a bit creepy through his mask)  
Tyler- . . .  
Delirious- i am subscribed to you.  
Tyler- Haha. Your freaking chill. um i have to go do a game torment you want to come?  
Delirious- Sure.  
Tyler- wait . . . whats your name?  
Delirious-Jason.

Delirious was getting rather impressed with himself. One down Nine to go. He was lead into a room with a large TV and a big couch. He couldn't tell what game it was. Sitting on the couch was the man himself Vanossgaming. Of course Tyler walked over and introduced me.  
Tyler- Vanoss this is Jason, hes chill he watches our vids sometimes.  
Vanoss- Nice to meet you, Jason. Nice mask.  
Delirious- Thanks. Nice to meet you too, Vanoss.  
Vanoss- you can call me Evan.

Delirious nods he watches them play the game apparently it was knew but it reminded delirious something of a mix of Hitman, For Honor, and rainbow six. You had to either complete the mission or kill your opponent's team with whatever weapon you choose. He looked at the game wish he could play be realized that might not be the best idea considering it might make him laugh. Well, he was about to find out cause Tyler had just offered to let him play against Brain who was the best so far and had beaten everyone. Of course John accepted. So he chose his team which had axes as there weapon and they waited for the random map selection which landed on a mansion layout map. Luckily, Delirious had been paying close attention to the button mashing well . . sort of. Melee was all he needed. Each team had a leader in this case, Delirious and Brian and then 9 computer players following them usually they just attacked the other cpus. Some Johnathan ended up with all of Brian's team on him only. He realized it would be impossible to accomplish the mission and the only other option was fight his way out. The thing is that when he doesn't have to comment or actually listen to what the others are saying he is completely in the game and that is how he ended cutting up ten people with and axe, leaving the guys speechless. I get up and excuse my self.He stops when he here's Vanoss's pick up his phone and then continues when he realizes he's talking to Luke. Luke had called Vanoss out of concern saying that he couldn't find Jonathan. Vanoss tried to calm Luke down asking him questions. The guys were all bugging him asking him what was wrong. Till Vanoss calmed Luke down enough that he hung up.  
Nogla- What was that about?  
Evan- That was Luke . . .  
Mini- We could tell that Eva. . .  
Evan- WOULD YOU LET ME FINISH? he said he can't find Delirious and he can't get a hold of him.  
Lui- wait . . he can't find him like he's not home? or -br /> Evan- All of the above, why?  
Lui- . . . wel-  
Brian- wait guys!  
Marcel- What?  
Brian- Where did Jason go?  
Silence.  
Mini- No no there is no way . . .is there?  
Tyler- We gotta fuckin find him.  
With that all the guys tried to find 'Jason' but its a hard thing to do in a crowd of people. You would think that with the mask on it would make it more obvious but that turns out not to be true. Meanwhile, Delirious was trying to figure out what was wrong with his phone. If Luke was that concerned he could of called him. Turns out his pone wasn't on and when he turned it on he was met with a ton of messages from Cartoonz, Ohm, and Bryce all asking if he was okay. He shot them a quick text saying he was fine. He knew by now that the guys were definitely looking for him. They were going to find him. It was just a matter of how he wanted them to find him. he was gonna make them chase him. If they really want to know they'll chase after. Just then Delirious heard Mini yell Jason in his direction. He wasn't far from them but he turned and saw all the guys heading for him he made sure they knew he heard them. Then . . . he ran.


	4. The chase

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johnathan has got some tricks up his sleeve well . . . more like unexpected skills.

The guys were chasing Delirious through the convention and the waves of people . He could just leave the building but he's supposed to be revealing himself to them and that wasn't fair for the guys. The guys were slowly realizing that Delirious is a very fast runner as well as had a height advantage so they slowed down to come up with a new strategy to close Him off. They split up and tried to circle around him by this time many people were watching and wondering what was going on. Delirious noticed what the guys were trying to do and decided it was time for some fun. He saw a incoming platform and jumped on it and then on top of one of the convention booths and ran across it jumping onto another wall before jump down the other side. See this the guys once again slowed down checking behind the wall but he was nowhere to be found. They resorted to there other plan they took out there phones and started sending messages and calling him of course there was no response. Delirious was hiding in the bathroom trying to decide if he was going to go back to his hotel and try again tomorrow or just wait. He heard someone open the bathroom door and hid in one of the stalls. He heard Mini's voice in the distance and then he peered through the stall doors. Evan was wiping his face off with a towel. This place is hot and its not the best place to run. Delirious stepped out of the stall and stood behind Evan (who was still wiping his face) and watched his reaction in the mirror. Of course the poorly lit bathroom made it a bit creepy. Evan stared into the reflection for a while before turning around to look at him directly?   
Evan- Jason? Really out of all the names?  
Delirious just tilted his head.   
Evan- I know its you Jonathan. . . .   
Delirious- . . .   
Evan- It is you right . . . your kinda freaking me out.  
Delirious- Yes. its me.   
Evan let out a sigh of relief, he thought he had ran into a creeper. Well, a bigger creep than Delirious. Evan paused for a moment before launching himself at John and giving him a very tight hug. Delirious felt himself flush a little when the hug lasted for a extra long time. Thanking Jared mentally that the mask wasn't accurate otherwise he would have hearts for eyes. Evan knew it was a long hug but hey, its his best friend. He's seeing him for the first time. They Broke apart when a random guy ran into the bathroom.  
Guy- Oh, sorry was i interrupting something?  
Evan- What? no no no no no totally not. Right Jason?  
Delirious just tilted his head again and look at the man in the bathroom. The guy feeling uncomfortable excused himself to toilet.  
Evan-Come on you, creepy bitch, lets go.  
Delirious just followed Evan out of the bathroom and to where the guys were supposed to be.   
Evan- where'd they go . ..  
Evan was interrupted by his phone ringing it was Mini asking if he was done cause the guys were getting hungry. Evan simply acknowledged him and told him he'd meet him at the restaurant not tell them that delirious was with him.   
Evan- So? um are you staying or going ?  
Delirious smiled under the mask and told him he was staying. Earning a cute smile from Evan. They walked down to the restaurant together talking about old things, Delirious's park-core skills, and Evan's awkwardness. It wasn't long before they were at the place and escorted over to the others. The guys stopped talking when they saw who Evan had brought in, mask and all. Before standing up and group hugging him, nearly knocking Delirious onto the ground. They settled in and ordered there food. After speaking Delirious remembered he can't keep wearing this mask if he was gonna eat. He causally took it off and put it in his backpack. He hadn't noticed that all the guys had stopped to look at him. Running his fingers through his hair, Jonathan looked up and was met with everyone staring at him.   
Jonathan-What?  
Mini- Well, we weren't expecting you to take it off.   
John- How am i supposed to eat?  
Mini- . . . well . .you could . . . not eat  
John- i want foooood.  
moo-hahah  
Mini-NO WE ARE NOT STARTING THIS AGAIN.  
Tyler- but i want foooood too.  
Mini- your not helping, Tyler. Stop. before its too late.  
Marcel- you sound scared for your life.  
Mini- i'm scared for my sanity.   
Their food arrived not long after this conversation.   
Nogla- So Delirious where are you staying?  
John- The Rita-Carlton   
Lui started choking on his food as Jonathan just took another bite of his food. The guys looked up to see if he was alright.  
Tyler- You alright man?  
Lui- the Carlton . . . the fuckin CARLTON!  
Brian- what's wrong with that?  
Lui- wrong? Nothing. There better be nothing wrong with it. Its like 400 dollars a night.  
John-(fake cough) . . . 529 . . .  
Tyler-Damn.  
Mini- Wait are you staying there the whole week?  
John- um yeah. Why?  
Evan- Why? why? that's over 3,500 dollars.   
John-and?  
Tyler- where are you getting all this cash from.   
John-its a long story and not to be told in a public place.   
Evan-yeah, that totally doesn't sound suspicious. At all.  
Delirious made a face for a second and then continued eating his barbecue sandwich. After they were all mostly finished there meals, they sat there and waited for the check. Tyler had offered to pay however, he hadn't expected it to cost so much. The guys didn't bring much since he had offered to pay. By the end of the night they fell a bit . . . short.   
Waitress- um sir you don't have enough on your card to pay for your meal.  
Tyler was obviously panicking and the other guys started to take out there wallets to scrape together whatever they had but they were still short. Till delirious spoke up. Pulling out his card.   
Delirious- Here put it on this. There should be enough for it and a tip.   
The waitress smiled and took the card and gave Tyler's back. She returned not that long later.  
Waitress- thank you i just need to ask on security question. Full name please?   
John- Jonathan Jason Dennis.   
Waitress- okay thank you and here is your card. Have a great day!  
Evan- your middle name is Jason?  
Mini- That explains so much. Where to next?  
Marcel- Guess what time it is!? PARTY TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!

The guys ran down the street screaming and yelling at the top of there lungs. Jonathan walked behind them, shaking his head. Parties aren't really a good seen for Jonathan, he didn't want to leave his friends though.


	5. PARTY!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A party!! Jonathan hides away and Delirious comes out to say hey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's some music for the club if you need it.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DhCp22tIiTc  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYaygLi1Qd0  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quzf5X9TKR4  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXvJuVcI5mU  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmH1hOsn8iA

Del pov  
I am very glad that i decided to do this, i mean how else would i get this awesome mask. Of course most importantly i met all my friends. I’m not so sure about this whole party thing . . . i mean . . . maybe i can find an excuse to go back to my hotel. I could say i need to drop my stuff off and then decide i'm tired and go to sleep instead. I was brought out of my thoughts, on an escape plan when Evan nudged me.  
Evan- hey are you alright? You look kinda . . .out of it.  
John- i-i’m fine.  
Evan- if you don’t like parties i can just tell the guys you were tired or something. You don’t have to go just because we do. I mean there’s a lot of people. . .  
John- No it’s not that i don’t like parties, i love them actually . . i-i’ts j-just . . .  
Evan- What?  
John- I-i . . some situations trigger me to act differently. You know what i’m sayin’ ?  
Evan- yeeeeahhhhh no. If you mean you can get carried away then yeah but i mean everyone does at a party come on it will be fun.  
I am sort of forced to agree as Evan drags me to the entrance of the club. We stop when we see Lui leaving. He tells us he’s too tired for this and starts to walk off. I stop him, as I realize that i’d rather not take my backpack in there and give it to Lui to hold on to till tomorrow. The mostly calm night is replaced by neon lights and and loud music. There was people dancing everywhere the guys had all found someone to dance with or talk to and Evan ran off as soon as we walked in. I could feel something in the back of my head telling me this was a bad idea as the other half of me tries to relax. I’m not quite ready to relax that much. I started to feel uncomfortable so i start to move my way through the crowd to find Evan. Well, honestly any of the guys would be good. I finally find Evan and i feel like i’m a mess and i haven’t even done anything yet. Evan looked at me concern on his face. Then proceed to yell at me.  
Evan-ARE YOU ALRIGHT!?  
I didn’t bother answering i just took the drink he was holding drank it all in one go. I have no idea what it was but it was good. Evan stared at me like i was crazy. Just then i here a song i know come on. I can’t help it, i feel that last bit of self control. That last part of Jonathan fall away and Delirious kick in. It’s suddenly very hot and the bass is the only thing i can feel as i move through the crowd of people. Just blurry figures and colors now. I subtly start dancing and soon i have a whole crowd of people dancing around me. I don’t know how long i was on the dance floor but i do remember that people gave me drinks every time i asked. It didn’t know where any of the guys were. Frankly, i didn’t care. It’s so hhhottttttttt. Too hot. If i throw my jacket i can find it later, right? Suuurrre. There’s a guy dancin behind me . . . not really sure when he got there but man can he dance. Wait, what happened to that girl. . . oh thats a lot of hands. 

The guys pov  
In a quieter corner of the club, the guys were watching the now . . . delirious crowd from afar.  
Mini- YOOO!!! I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT.  
Tyler- You don’t have to yell you fucktwad we can all hear you.  
Marcel- i wasn’t expecting that either. Jonathan being a party animal was not on my list. In fact him being social in anyway was not on my list.  
Nogla- Whats the matter Evan you jealous?  
Evan- no i’m worried he said that he should go to this party cause of something about not being able to control himself or loosing himself . . .or sometin.  
Nogla- Its too late now.  
Brian- he right you might as well . . . enjoy it.  
Brian pointed out before turning back to the cute girl that was clinging to him. Evan went back to the bar staring into the crowd with Jonathan in the middle. He watch for a while but maybe Nogla’s right. Jonathan had admitted to possibly liking him more than a friend. Evan had just said okay, he didn’t really respond. Now, watching everyone dance closely with him and watching him smile, Evan wanted to be the one dancing with his hands all over him not some random people. That's what caused a small fire to brew in Evan as he walked into the crowd which, simply reassembled after he reached the middle. The guys watch from afar. Mini was drunk now and Nogla and Marcel gave each other high fives as they watched Evan walk into the crowd. 

Evan’s pov  
It was different on the dance floor. The bass was louder and everyone was dancing together. He could finally see Jonathan. Dancing with another guy. He had lost his jacket and all his tattoos on his arm were visible. His hair sticking up and all the piercings on his ears standing out. I was so busy looking at his tattoos when i finally looked at his face. I realized he was staring right at me but still dancing, not missing a beat. The song switches again and the smile on John’s face gets even bigger, if that's even possible. Suddenly his face is inches from mine. He laces our fingers together and spins me around so my back is against his stomach and our hips line up. It was fast and smooth.  
I was not expecting to hear his voice or for it to sound s different. Taunting.  
John- Whats the matter Evan? . . . Did you get jealous watching from afar, watching everyone touch me and i touch them. You wanted to be included? Didn’t you? . . . It’s alright good little Jonathan has gone away and Delirious is here to play? . . . You can have whatever you want?  
I felt him continue to make his point by licking down my neck and back up before biting and sucking on my ear. I hadn’t even noticed that i had started to dance with him and his hand was up my shirt. And he was grinding into me. I let a moan out. I should this is a public place but i guess it doesn’t matter the music's too loud to hear anything anyway.  
Del- You alright Evan? . . . you seem a bit . . . delirious.  
I could feel him smile against my neck and i listened as a low chuckle escaped his mouth. Why does his voice sound like that? Its him but oooh so different. My hands found his hair. Whoa his hair is so fuckin soft. I felt his hand slip down the front of my pants.  
Del- You're losing it Evan . . .your hard. I could fuck you right here . . . in front of everyone. These people love me so much they’d probably cheer for me . . . i told you you shouldn’t of let me come to this party. . . Now you know.  
Know what is all Evan thought but he must of said it out loud because Delirious responded.  
Del- Delirious is the king of parties.  
Is what i hear before Delirious turns my head to kiss me. It works just like the music. Just like the dancing. It’s an aggressive kiss filled with heat and rhythm he really does seem to feel the whole party with his all of his body and now i can feel it as well. The kiss ends quicker than i would've liked but the dancing and grinding doesn’t.  
Del-Mine! Haha!

-General pov-  
3 am  
The party was even more crowded, especially on the dance floor. Brian had disappeared with the girl from earlier. Moo went back to the hotel because he was tired, he took Mini and Tyler with him because they were a drunk mess and about to pass out. Marcel seems to have disappeared. Nogla was telling his heart out to the bar tender. There in the middle of everything Evan and Delirious were still dancing.Then again time doesn’t matter on the dance floor.


	6. Lets talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what the title says.

Del pov

Mm. Where am i? I look around and see that i’m in my hotel room. How did i get back here? Maybe i dreamt about everything that happened yesterday. If i could remember it's kind of fuzzy. I don’t have a hangover though. What's that buzzing? Oh it's my phone. I reach for the side table picking up my phone but pausing when i realize the clock says it already 2pm. I open up my phone and am met with multiple texts from Evan and a few from Luke asking where i was. I sent a quick text to Luke explaining what was going on before opening up Vanoss’s messages. They mostly were along the lines of ‘we need to talk’ or ‘Are you alright?’ and apparently he has been texting me since 9:45 this morning. I go to sit up and i realize i need a shower. I reek of sweat and alcohol . . . and sex. There’s another smell i can’t quite place till my phone buzzes again and i realize that the smell is Evan. I smile to myself as i open up the text. I stop when i remember how aggressive i was last night

Owlbitch- Del, please respnd i need to knw ur ok. I uh we need to tlk. i knw i alredy said that but ur kinda scaring me. Plese say sometin. 

Owlbitch- Btw. I hav ur jacket an i think u hav mine? I relly hope u hav mine. 

I send a texting telling him i just woke up and then i head for the shower looking around for his jacket as i walked. I stay in the shower longer than i need too. The hot water felt extra nice. My mind started to drift to last night. With the loud music and flashy lights. Evan’s body against mine and i would take time to enjoy that but i need to talk to Evan first. With that thought i turn the water to cold and practically jump out of the shower. I walk to the bed stepping on a red hoodie. Picking it up, brushing it off, and placing it at the end of the bed. I look at my phone again to see if Evan got my text. 

Owlbitch- Oh ok i thot u were ignoring me. Or sometin. Did u hav plans or can we meet up tday.  
Me- I don’t hav plans where do ya wanna meet?   
Owlbitch-um, idk. :/  
Me- my place or ur place? Or another place?  
Owlbitch-- my place has wildcat and mini in it?  
Me- ok my place it is. Wait y r they both there?  
Owlbitch- idk. There fully clothed tho. Their just sleepin. Mini is on the floor. Wats ur room #  
Me-913  
Owlbitch- c u in a bit.   
Vanoss pov

The guys were bugging me all morning. Asking what happened between me and Delirious honestly not much there was a lot of kissing and groping though. I really wish there was more but i wasn’t expecting Delirious to be like that, at all. Apparently neither were the guys. I don’t know if i’m ready for this conversation, but i’m sure as hell not gonna let it be awkward between us. I feel like i should wear something nice. I looked up the hotel, mostly cause Lui insisted, the place is no joke. I throw on a pair of black jeans and a plain white shirt. Its nothing special but it looks neat and clean. It took me awhile to get out the door because apparently everyone wanted to tag along and see Delirious’s room. I told them that i needed to talk to him alone first and that i’d be back. I saw Nogla and Tyler make a face at each other as i stepped into the elevator and the doors slowly closed. The closer i got to the hotel the more nervous i felt yet I was excited. I walked in and waved at the man behind the desk before heading to the elevator clicking on the glowing number 9. The elevator ride felt long. Finally it was over and he stepped out into the hallway and quickly began his search for room 913.   
I stood in front of the door for a bit, knocked nervously, and then waited. When Delirious finally came to the door i was realized i did have a crush on him and not a little one either. He was wearing A blue flannel shirt with dark grey jeans and . . . .neon pink socks? I giggled to myself a bit.   
Delirious- stop laughing at my socks and get in here.   
I walked past him into the room but slowed down when i realized how amazing it was. It had a view of all of Los Angeles.   
Delirious-I know the view is great but we were gonna talk. Right?  
He plops down on the bed sitting crisscross applesauce on the bed while holding a pillow he looked like a girl about to gossip about boys. I sat next to him. I didn’t really know where to start. 

Evan-Soo . . .  
Delirious-So?  
Evan- I don’t know where to start.  
Delirious- We’re grown-ish people be honest and i’ll be honest.  
Evan- But what if we don’t have the same feelings? . . . What is-

I was cut off by Delirious’s mouth on mine it was significantly different from the one last night. It was slow and sweet. I felt his hands slide around my waist and under my shirt and i put my hands in his hai. Man does he have great hair. The kiss get deeper as i feel his tongue slide across my lip and i open my mouth to feel him pull my lip between his teeth before backing up.   
Delirious- is that how you feel?  
It took me a while to answer cause i was distracted by the heat from the kiss. Finally i smiled and nodded. Delirious laughed   
Delirious- i almost worried there. I thought i made a fool of myself for a second.   
Evan- You usually do . . .   
Delirious- Shush up..  
Evan- Although . . . lately, you’ve been extra try-hard and . . . it’s incredibly hot.

I lean forward and Delirious meets me halfway. We stretched out on the bed this time and i was about to take a risk but someone knock on Delirious’s door. Delirious left and i made a involuntary noise at the sudden lose of lip contact. I sit up and listen to see who it is.   
Tyler- He dropped his phone in the hallway.

Goddamit Tyler you couldn’t have waited. I mean i’m grateful he picked it up and not some stranger but . . ..I sigh to myself. I head to the door and take the phone from his hand and mutter a thank you. Before i go back to sitting on the bed. Lucky, Wildcat said something about heading back to the hotel and left. I sit on the bed hoping the Delirious would come back to me and he starts to but stops in front of me with a weird look on his face. Before pulling out his phone.

Evan-Delirious?  
Delirious- I forgot to upload a video hang on.   
I waited quietly. Thinking about nothing. Taking time to look him up and down.   
Delirious-You know you don’t have call me Delirious.  
Evan- Yeah but i feel like Luke when i call you Jonathan.  
Delirious- It’s kinda weird though and you can’t say that in public.   
Evan- . . .hmm  
Delirious- i never say this but i think its okay for you but . . . you can call me Johnny.  
Evan- haha. Okay Johnny boy.  
John-No no no no god no just Johnny. No boy.   
Evan- Okay Johnny . .   
John- Thank you  
Evan- . . .Boy.  
John- Evan!!! Don’t do that or i-i’ll -  
Evan- You’ll what?  
John- . . .   
Evan- what?  
John- I will spank you.  
Evan- wait what?!  
John was smirking at me. I felt like i just fell down a hole and i need to get out.   
Evan- um no you don’t have to do that.   
John- Be careful Evan your my bitch now. Haha.

I had a feeling this was gonna be a good week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need nicknames for Evan. Any suggestions?  
>  I need more than one.


	7. Where did he go? Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan is going take take advantage of this. . . cause he can

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, This is short.

Evan was still a little distracted by everything that happened. Distracted in a good way. Lost in the feel of Jonathan rubbing his thumb over the back of their intertwined hands. They hadn’t even left the room they were still sitting quietly on John’s bed, who was still on his phone. 

Evan- what are you doing, now?  
John-Luke won’t leave me alone.   
Evan- So? You could ignore him.  
John turned around with a smirk. Which made Evan confused and look behind him and then back at John.   
Evan- what?  
John- Are you feeling needy?   
Evan- What no . . .you just sounded . . .annoyed. . .   
John- okay deny it all you want.  
Evan- why are you so-  
John- What? Are you gonna finish that sentence Owl bitch?   
Evan- i’m not your bitch!   
John- . . . Not in public no. You're right but in my room . . . yes. 

Evan was about to retaliate when John moved forward and straddled Evan. John was still on his phone pretending like it was the most normal thing in the world. He massaged Evan’s neck for a bit with his one free hand. Evan was growing restless and quickly flipped them over. John made a weird noise but remained looking at his phone. Evan kissed down his neck but John pulled his chin up to his face and gave him a light kiss. Which Evan wanted to deepen but he was stopped. John finally put his phone down and leaned more into the kiss.

John- If we do this we can’t fuck it up.  
Evan- what?  
John-they’ll know Evan. If something happens and we stop playing together. We have to promise to stay at least friends no matter what.   
Evan- Are you saying we shouldn’t.  
John- no i’m saying let’s not hurt each other okay? We do everything we can to keep each other happy without destroying ourselves in the process.   
Evan- sooooo are a thing or are we not a thing?  
John- Whatever you want?   
Evan- i want you?  
John- I know that but we can’t cause the guys are in the lobby.   
Evan-What! Right now!  
John- Yes now! . . . there’s something i need to tell you later.   
Evan-What?  
John-Later. 

They got up and headed for the door. As they were walking to the elevator they talked about what they were and decided they would do this slowly. More than friends but not as serious as boyfriends and settled for friends with benefit till they were sure. John was surprisingly serious about not wrecking their friendship but Vanoss understood and also didn’t want that. Then again who would? They both were happy with that, sealed it with a kiss, and exited the elevator with smug smiles on their faces. 

Tyler- where the fuck have you guys been?  
John-What crawled up your ass? i told you i had to talk to Evan.   
Nogla- Right.  
Miniladd- Anyway, are supposed to be signing today AND we’re about to be late if we don’t leave now.

They began their speed walk to the convention hall. Evan stopped John right outside the doors asking him what he was gonna do while they were doing the signing. John just told him that he would ‘buy more shit he doesn’t need’ and walked off with a huge smile on his face. Evan spent a lot of the time thinking about Jonathan while he was trying to sign things to the point where he almost wrote Jonathan’s name on one of his fan’s t-shirts. It wasn’t fault that he couldn’t get the feel of John’s lips out of his head. It also didn’t help that every now and again Jonny would show up with something knew he bought just to get Vanoss to sign it, while pretending he didn’t know him. It was driving Evan insane. 

It felt like signing lasted for ever but it was finally done. He wanted nothing more than to find Jonathan and shove him a against the nearest flat surface. Somehow though John had completely disappeared.


	8. Where did he go? Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan finds John. Jonathan tells Evan a secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope ya enjoy.

Jonathan hadn’t gone far, he was just outside the main doors. He finally decided to explain everything to Luke, who was very excited for him, to say the least. He was just wrapping up his conversation when he got a text from Evan.

Owlbitch- where u at?  
Jonny- outside. R u done?  
Owlbitch- yes

John was about to send a message when, Evan walked in front of him. He grabbed his hand and pulled him into a empty side street before planting a heated kiss on his lips. John pushed him back for a second. 

John- were doing this here?  
Evan- . . . please.  
John- what?  
Evan- what?   
John- what did you just say?   
Evan- (making a weird face and backing up) i'm not begging.   
John- but you just did.   
Evan- No i didn’t . . . i was just adding my ‘please’ and then i was gonna add my ‘thank you’ later.   
John- Oh in that case you can wait right? (smirking)  
Evan- i could i’d rather not.   
John-(smiled and moved closer to Evan) You know how to ask.   
Evan- on second thought maybe we should wait . . . outside isn’t the best place to be for this. 

John started laughing in that Delirious way that he hadn’t heard since the night at the club. He was almost keeled over by the time he stopped. Evan stood there confused and a little bit worried that someone would realize who he was finally Evan couldn’t take it anymore.

Evan- John what the fuck is wrong with you.  
John-(still recovering) Wellllllllll you know how i had something to tell you?  
Evan- yeah.  
John- that was one of the things? 

Evan was still confused and just stared at John.

John- Evan . . . . Exhibitionist.   
Evan- . . . oh.  
John- For real though, we don’t have to do that. Usually my relationships end after they find out. It makes people uncomfortable.   
Evan- im . . . um . . i don’t really have an opinion on it but i have a lot of questions . . . So many questions.   
John- . . .   
Evan- Do you want to have dinner tonight?  
John- yeah. (scratching the back of his head awkwardly) that would be nice. 

The day went on with a bit of tension between them whether it was sexual or emotional neither of them could tell. What Evan could tell was that John was being more distant and extra awkward. The guys were to busy asking him about his tattoos and other stuff to really notice his discomfort. Finally it was nightfall and everyone returned to their rooms except John and Evan. Evan just said he knew a small quiet place they could go. John had no input on the matter and just followed behind Evan quietly. A table was easy to get considering the place was practically empty. They sat in a booth next to the window. They ordered their drinks and sat in silence. Evan moved to John’s side of the table and held his hand under the table and sighed. 

Evan- I am not gonna runaway. 

John smiled and it was obvious that the weight of the world lifted off his shoulder as a he gave Evan a quick kiss and continued to sip his soda.. 

Evan- Calm down . . . like i said earlier, questions.   
John- Go for it.  
Evan- You said most of your relationships ended after they found out about your . . .  
John- Kink?   
Evan-(blushing lightly) sure . . . how many and you said most so what about the others?  
John- well almost all there was only two people who didn’t leave me. My friend Lily and Zeik. Lily and me were a ‘thing’ , if thats what you want to call it . . . Z . . .just sorta of . . . watched. I haven’t seen them in a long time. Luke also knows just cause he was one who help me with the really bad break ups. He also didn’t like Lily and Zeik sooo . . .  
Evan- why?  
John- cause i knew them in high school and . . .they weren’t exactly good influences.   
Evan- ahh. . .  
John- it wasn’t always what i liked that made people leave. Some people just got creeped out.  
Evan- By you?   
John- yup.   
Evan- but you're adorable and a little bit irritating but adorable.   
John- wow . . . Shut up.   
Evan- hahaha. I’m sorry, continue why were people creeped out.   
John- Sometimes i get a bit detached from my emotions and i don’t really . . .   
Evan- care?  
John- yeah but  
Evan- you literally don't have any emotions at the time.   
John- oh my god. Why haven’t we decided to be fuck buddies sooner.   
Evan- hmmm i don’t know maybe it's cause we only talked on the computer and everytime we tried to have a serious conversation you would leave.   
John-(sheepish smile) . . yeah. 

They sat quietly for a bit still holding hands under the table as a waitress brought them their food. John was smiling to himself. Evan was trying to narrow down the questions in his head.

Evan- So people turn you on?  
John- Ew. No.   
Evan- What?  
John- It's the thought of getting caught or of someone emotionlessly watching as if it wasn’t that big of a deal.   
Evan- hm. So how do you feel now?  
John- i was already horny from when you pushed me against that alley wall.  
Evan-ohh yeeaahh.   
John- if you really want to know . . .

Evan was confused when John trailed of at the end and pick up his soda and took a quick sip. It took Evan awhile to realize that John was taking his pants off underneath the table. 

Evan- What are you doing?!  
John- Shhh. Giving you a 101 lesson on Exhibitionism. 

John had been going at himself under the table for a while now and everytime someone walked past the window or the waiter stopped by to check on them Evan’s heart speed up. There was apart of Evan that was kind of impressed that John could keep a straight face and even hold a conversation with the waitress without missing a beat. /puns :)/   
He hadn’t realized he was staring until John brought it to his attention. 

John- they're gonna know if you keep staring and although that's fine with me i’m pretty sure you’d die of embarrassment. 

Evan just glared at him and went back to eating his food trying to pretend that John was doing ‘that’ right next to him, even though he was rather interested he was also really hungry. He finally finished his food. 

Evan-Jesus, you're still going?  
John- i like to pace myself out especially since i'm with someone i like. 

Evan didn’t really have words for that but he could feel his face getting warm. He sat there for a bit hoping the blush would go away. It started to but came back when John whispered in his ear ‘someone knows’ . Evan was thrown off by this and it only got worse when John lead Evans hand to his shaft. 

Evan- i can’t we’re in a restaurant.  
John- shhh. Trust me but you have to relax. 

Evan relax as much as he could and let John guide his hands. 

John- drink your soda, Evan. 

Evan obliged, not breaking the rhythm he had set. Evan started to realize this wasn’t so bad after all. Actually it was kind of fun, he can see why Johnny would like this. It's quite the adrenaline rush and it's different. It took awhile for a thought to come surfacing to the front of Evan’s head ‘someone knows’ Evan immediately started looking around and then looked in the direction that John was staring. A young guy was looking in their direction. 

Evan- He knows. 

John nodded and sighed. The sound sent pleasure straight t Evan’s crouch. John noticed cause he smirked and and leaned closer to Evan’s ear and moaned just loud enough that only Evan could hear it. This was gonna a be interesting.


	9. The dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A place were things hide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a story that will be finished. i will not stop it. Which means there are gonna be a lot of ups and downs. It's gonna be and exploration of both Evan and Jonathan's realtionship (of course),but also their good and bad sides. So its gonna be smutty, fluffy, angsty, and outright delirious so strap in for a ride cause its definitively gonna be one. i don't know how long this is gonna be or if i'm gonna wrap this up and do little one shots that happen after this meet-up. Its Wednesday in the story (i think) and this story ends on Saturday-ish. :) Enjoy.

Evan was trying his best not to get distracted by Jonathan’s playfulness or how his voice was incredibly different from what he normally hears. How does he do that? 

John-Don’t worry i know you’re not really into this . . at least not yet. I’m almost there and then we can go some place you want . . . if you like?  
Evan-mmhm  
John-Well then hurry.

Evan picked up the pace and the whole time he wondering how he ended up doing this. He had liked John when they first started talking but now in person it's just gotten stronger. He could tell John was hitting his climax and he thought to himself . . . .If it was anyone else he would never-

John-Ah. so where do you want to go? It's your choice.  
Evan- ummm. I don’t-  
John- Come on Evan think. What's someplace nice that you would want to go but the guys would probably ruin it?  
Evan- Well there's one place, but it's too dark for it.   
John- Are you afraid of the dark? Show me Evan.

Evan thought he was being cocky for a second till John made a face and Grabbed his hand.

John- Cause i am but . . . I trust you and i owe you. 

Evan didn’t know what to say to that so instead he left that money for their meal on the table and lead John out onto the sidewalk, lit only by passing cars and the lights of city buildings. Jonathan held onto his hand a little tighter as they walked down a side path with even less light. Evan lead them down a path any passing person would easily overlook. John tensed a bit relax when he saw the path wrapped in vines all over almost like a tunnel with a few flowers here and there. It was a cozy little nook, a hidden gem. John looked around in amazement. 

Evan- i found this place on accident the second time i came to LA. Never told any of the guys about it. Now you know. Do you like it? . . . . I Know it's a bit dark.  
John- its great. 

John sat down in the small grassy area. Evan watched awkwardly at first like he couldn’t decide whether to sit or not. Eventually he sat cross legged next to him leaning his head against the mossy vines. Looking over at John who was oddly silent. He was playing with some of the flowers. He couldn’t tell in the light. It was a calm silence and Evan zoned out a bit staring at the flowers on opposite wall. He was brought back when he felt something being placed on his head. He looked up to see John placing a flower crown on his head.

Evan- how did you make that?  
John- My grandmother taught me, she wanted to teach my sister but . . . she was always doing other things. Didn’t want to be a ‘girly’ girl i guess. So i learned it instead . . . i mean weavings gotta be help for something right? You like?  
Evan- yes i do but you just tore up a bunch of flowers. Weaving is good for killing flowers i guess.   
John- well that's the last time i make you something. Huff you're so ungrateful.  
Evan- said i liked it didn’t i?

John tried to stay mad but bursted into a fit of giggles that grew into the maniacal laughter Evan adored so much. Evan shook his head at him. 

John- You make a great flower king.   
Evan-I need a thrown and a staff.   
John- Here’s a stick.  
Evan- alright. But what about my throne?  
John- . . . .i can be your thrown. 

Evan blushed a little as he messed with the stick a bit trying to improve it. 

John- i know your buff but you're not gonna break me if you sit on me. 

Evan moved over to him and sat across his lap so he could look at him. He placed the stick on the ground with his hands crossed over each other and tried to muster a serious expression. 

Evan- Am i king now?  
John- Haha. Yeah, that's more like it . 

Evan rested his forehead on, trying his best not to ruin the flower crown he had on his head. There was a noise outside the alleyway and Evan looked up for a second the noise subsided and he demanded it a night animal. John was amused by his sudden hypersensitivity to noise. 

John- You're such a . . . .  
Evan- What?

John didn’t answer and just looked at Evan for a bit who was curiously waiting for John to answer. 

Evan- WHAT?  
John- . . .flos ibin  
Evan- what?  
John- It means ‘flower owl’ in latin?   
Evan- You know spanish?  
John- No. Well, yes. Kinda. Latin is different.  
Evan- Say something Else?  
John- Umm. Vos estis lux tenebris meis.  
Evan- What does it mean?  
John- . . . .you are the light to my dark.  
Evan- wow that so cheesy.  
John- well, post tergum es asinus. obliviscar tui

John pushed Evan off of him. 

Evan- i'm sorry it was. Can you at least tell me what you called me.  
John- nope, you had your chance.  
Evan- well it's really hot . . whatever you said. 

They hadn’t realized how close they were. John closed the gap. The kiss was slower and sweeter this time. Simply filled with love and caring. Both friendship and something more. They parted, catching their breath. Evan caught his first.

Evan- If you're this attractive in many senses of the word . . . .why?  
John- . . .   
Evan- why haven’t you shared this?   
John- you mean why haven’t i done a face reveal?  
Evan- Well . . . yeah.  
John- Evan if i did. That may satisfy some but people want to know everything. There will be people who will keep digging. People that will put two and two together. I don’t and i wouldn’t blame them for it. It’s curiosity it's hard to ignore. It’s like having an itch you can’t scratch. There are people who don’t want to know cause they like a mystery. There are some that probably unsubscribe from me if they knew. It’s true i like my privacy. I don’t want to go to the store or hang out with my family and get trampled by people. I . . . people already make me uncomfortable enough, for many reasons. Then . . there’s those who would take that knowledge of knowing me and hurt me or dig up something old and i don’t want that. If i put something out there then it keeps going and i can’t control it. It already happens now when i say one thing in a video and well . . . There are some things i’m hiding, that are finally gone and . . . i’d rather they stay that way. 

Evan didn’t know what to say to that. He felt bad for asking and a bit worried. He brushed it all aside and hugged him. John gladly accepted. 

Evan- you don’t have to do it alone. I can protect you . . . just like i protected you from the dark. What did you say?

'Vos estis lux tenebris meis. '

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm rusty on my Latin. XD


	10. IMPORTANT NOTE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Read and comment   
> :)

Sup guys, i'm about to dive into the deep end of this story. Gonna show some of the bad side and quite a bit of angst. I feel strongly as a writer that when a story starts to get long-ish (this one will be) there should be a bit of balance so hopefully you enjoy the change in atmosphere don't worry it will get fluffy and sweet again. (cause we have to get back to the beginning). Let me know what you guys think. I might make Jonathan's past very dark, very messy or just a little, and then give Evan a few secrets. 

If you would like to see a very dark past for John or Evan let me know in a comment. 

(I already have my ideas but i'm curious in what you think)

:)


	11. This is how it starts.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloudy days are never good. John needs help with something. But what?

Del pov. 

I woke up to darkness, that was different. There wasn’t any sun coming through the window. I rolled over to check my phone. It was 3 in the afternoon. How did i manage to do that? I sit up thinking about last night. I get a warm feeling mixed with confidents, at the thought that Evan would help me keep my identity safe. Although it’s not really fair if he doesn’t know what he is protecting. I sigh inwardly as i realize that i’m gonna have to explain everything to him if he really is gonna make an effort to help me. I was gonna have to do it soon, it was already Thursday, I’m supposed to leave in two days. I climb out of bed slowly and look out the huge windows. It’s cloudy. I have a uneasy feeling about today . . .that’s never good. Hm. Well, shower comes first. 

General pov

Evan had been texting John all morning. He needed to do something the guys were still up when he got back to the hotel yesterday and they had bombarded him with questions. Had to say something otherwise they would never leave him alone. However John wasn’t around so he needs to warn him. The guys were actually really excited. Nogla ran around the hotel room for like 5 minutes yelling gibberish and something about the ultimate ship sailing. The chanting only stopped because he fell off of the bed.

John was tying up his shoes as he read the messages Evan sent. He slowed down as he read the last few. Before rushing out of his room, skipping the elevator, and went down the stairwell. He ran all the way to the guys hotel. He nearly ran into Nogla when he opened the lobby door. He went to ask where Evan was but Nogla just wrapped him in a very tight hug. 

John-you can let go now. You could probably guess who i'm looking for.   
Nogla- Evan’s upstairs, last i checked but he should be down in a minute. 

John was unaware that he was making a nervous face until Nogla asked him what was wrong. John shook his head. He had another uneasy feeling. He sat down on one of the couches in the lobby and texted Luke to make sure everything was alright back home. He waited for the response but none came and he ended up putting his phone in his pocket. He was thinking to himself about what it could possibly be. Maybe he forgot someone's birthday or something. He felt the couch sink next to him. Of course it was Evan. He went to say hello but his phone buzzed, he smiled hoping Luke could clear it up for him. He frowned when he saw that it was from another number. He hadn’t seen it in a . . . very long time. He was suddenly very angry but he pushed it away as he remember that the guys were here. He aggressively shoved his phone back in his pocket and stood up to go over to the guys,to ask what the plan for today was. Leaving Evan on couch contemplating what he just saw. Considering it was late already, it was time for lunch. They agreed to have breakfast for there lunch and started the walk to IHOP. Evan and John were in the back of the group.

Evan-Johnny?  
John- hmm?  
Evan-Whats wrong?  
John- What do you mean?  
Evan- Don’t lie to me, please. I saw how upset you were when you got that text. Wha-   
John- Evan don’t . . .  
Evan- You told me last night you wanted to keep some stuff hidden but i also told you i would help you.   
John- yes and i’m grateful for that but, . . .. not with this. Okay?  
Evan- Why? What’s different and don’t say ‘it's dangerous’ cause that's so freaking cliche and i won’t accept that.   
John- . . .   
Evan-How about you tell me happening and then i stay out of it? So that way i’m not in the dark and i’m not in complete danger.   
John- Evan i can’t. It’s not gonna happen.  
Evan- . . . . i have my way of integration. I may be canadian but i can still get what i ant.   
John- What?   
Evan- HEY GUYS I NEED TO TEL-  
John- SHUT UP shut up. No no no no stop. Okay fine. I’ll tell you but you have to stay out of it and we aren’t doing talking bout it now. Alright?

Evan smiled and walked faster to catch up with the rest of the guys. John wasn’t sure how he felt about Evan at that moment. He knew there was another reason why he liked him. 

Luckily, since it was Thursday, it wasn’t very busy at IHOP when they got there and even with a large number of people like them. They were seated in 6 minutes. Evan and John sat across from each other. Although John was one of the last people to receive his food he was the first person finished. Evan was about half way done when he realized John was staring at him. He made a questionable face at John as he bit his bacon. Then he realized that he had slid forward some and he knew exactly what he was doing. Evan shook his head. Telling John to stop. John just stared at him and shook yes as in ‘it’s gonna happen’. It wasn’t long before they were mouthing things at each other. The last thing Evan caught was ‘you think you can integrate me and get away with it’ before Nogla interrupted.

Nogla- Are you guys like telepathic over there or are you guys just that in love?  
John- Whatever floats your boat Daithi. 

Evan caught on to the fact that his voice was a lot lower then it should be. The guys didn’t really notice and went back to talking and Evan went back to scowling at John. To be honest he was impressed and wondering how Brock hadn’t noticed, considering he was sitting right next to John. The guys stopped talking when Evan started choking on his orange juice. He told them he was fine through coughs. John was smirking from across the table. Evan finally thought about how tall John really was, as he tried to ignore John’s foot sliding up the inside of his leg. Evan focused on eating the rest of his french toast, till he heard John moan. He looked up and so did the rest of the guys.

John- I’m so board, can you guys hurry up.   
Tyler- may be if didn’t eat yours at fucking light speed you wouldn’t have to wait so long. Hmm.  
John- whatever.

John went back to smirking at Evan, who was trying his best not to blush. It wasn’t long before everyone was done and they were back on the side walk again. The arguing over the next place to go began and once again Evan joined John at the back of the group.

Evan- seriously?  
John- I felt threatened by your interrogation so i got back at you.   
Evan- Brock could of seen-  
John- and you would’ve been jealous. You would wish it was you.   
Evan- Noooo.   
John- yup.  
Evan- . . . maybe a little  
John- Thats-

John was cut off by his phone ringing. He picked it up and stood off to the side. He went to say hello. Evan watched as the smile on John’s face turned into a heavy frown. John wasn’t saying anything the person on the other end of the phone was talking a mile a minute. Evan looked at Jonathan’s face it was terrifying, he looked so angry. Evan hadn’t seen that before and would of never thought that crazy laughing John could seem so scary like he did right now. John finally got a word in he sounded surprisingly calm which made Evan feel even more uncomfortable.

John- i can’t. I don’t work there, anymore. 

John hung up and the anger was back. Evan watched as He paced around in a circle and pulled on his hair. Then he calmly exhaled before turning to Evan.

John- Do you really want to help me? Cause if you do i can’t promise what's gonna happen. I don’t want anything to happen to you. . . . soooo if you do this . . .  
Evan- i’m doing this. I’m helping.   
John- meet me at my hotel room tonight when you're done with the guys. I have to go take care of something. 

And with that Evan watched as Jonathan ran down the street. Evan knew this would be a mess in the end but there’s still a few things John doesn’t know about him. All he needs to know is that Evan is on his side and that's a plus for him. For more reasons than he knows. .


	12. Dragged in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Delirious explains what he can and Evan provides 'comfort'

John had been pacing back and forth in his room for a while now making phone calls, sending text, and setting up his laptop for email. Eventually he realized he needed to calm down because there was no way he would get this done if he was this panicked. He hit the shower and changed into sweatpants, not bother to put on a shirt, before settling back on his bed with his laptop. There was no telling how long the guys would want to be with Vanoss, it had already been three hours. At that moment there was a knock on his door and Delirious rushed to it but slowed down realizing it could be someone else. Especially with his current situation. He heard Vanoss say it was him from the other side of the door. Evan was not expecting to be pulled into the room so quickly or that John would be shirtless. John had resettled on his bed with his laptop. 

Evan- so are you gonna explain?  
John- come sit.

Evan hesitated for a second but complied. Getting slightly distracted by the heat coming off of John’s skin and the smell of sweet pine. 

John- right so . . um i’m not really sure where to start.   
Evan- Just choose a point and start you can always add on if you forgot something.   
John- Well i used to have a job other than Youtube when i lived in Virginia. It paid a lot and i got recommended by my dad so it wasn’t difficult to get. He didn’t tell me what it was or what i was gonna have to do but he told me if i’m in i have to stay. Like i said before i wasn’t the most well behaved child and it would probably be hard for me to find any other job so of course i took it. I should of seen red flags when he said i wouldn’t be able to get out of it. . . .but at the time i didn’t really see any other option plus my dad’s doing it so it can't be that bad. Right? He said it wouldn’t be that hard and i could work with him.  
Evan- And?  
John- . . . the thing is my dad was working in the office on computers and the reason you had to stay with them is cause his job was to clean off all the junk and top secret stuff off old government computers. Which actually does sound like fun but they put me on field work. My dad found out and he freaked out, so i panicked a little because it's weird when you someone who is normally calm and . . .he just doesn’t really freak out soo i knew something was wrong.  
Evan-what did they make you do? . . .Can you say?   
John- At first it was just little things like checking up on certain people and doing little tasks like fixing stop signs but then stuff got more serious. Like . . . a lot more serious. My dad would give me a hug and ask if i was okay each day. Usually said yes but it must of been pretty obvious that i wasn’t . He had said something to mom i guess cause one day she asked and sort of pleaded that i find a way out. My dad tried to explain that there wasn’t but you know moms . . .  
Evan- but you did get out cause when you were on the phone you said you didn’t have that job any more. SO how did you do it?  
John- do you always eavesdrop on people’s conversations?  
Evan- Are you gonna answer the question?  
John- i found some people that were old enough that they let them retire and they taught me a few tips and tricks to get out.   
Evan- . . .   
John- you know you can’t say this to anyone.  
Evan- does anyone else know.  
John-Luke-  
Evan- of course  
John-What?  
Evan- Luke knows everything about you.  
John-He’s like a brother to me. He was almost a brother-in-law but . . my sister spoiled that anyway . . .  
Evan-He’s only like a brother to you?  
John- Yes Evan! only a brother!   
Evan- . . .  
John-Are you jealous?  
Evan- No i just fell out numbered . . . when it comes to Luke. 

John set his laptop aside and leaned closer to Evan.

John-Evan?  
Evan-Yeah  
John-did you forget everything that happened these past few days.  
Evan- Maybe i have short term memory loss. Care to remind me?

John smiled and kissed Evan subtly. 

John- does that help.  
Evan-No  
John-Wait what-

Was all John could say before Evan was flipping him onto his back and pulling his and John’s pants off, 

John-Evan what are you doing?  
Evan-It’s my turn.  
John- Weren’t we just having a serious discussion.  
Evan- You're an assassin or some shit like that or whatever.  
John- Uh no I-  
Evan- Shut up, Johnny, I’m horny!  
John-Okayyy

John was a bit thrown off by Evan’s sudden aggressiveness but there was nothing he could do. It was a time like this when John remembered just how much muscle Evan had and that he wasn’t afraid to use it. John took his time looking at all of Evan well defined muscles, until Evan grinding upwards against his hip reminded him that there wasn’t any cloth separating them anymore. He gasped as Evan did it again but stopped when he felt Evan stick his fingers in his mouth. John sucked on command. There was a look in John’s eyes that Evan couldn’t quite place. It was like even though he was being dominant at this particular moment it’s like he’s still in charge somehow. Evan didn’t like that. He needed to fix that look. That is why without any pre-warning to John he had shoved fingers as far up his ass as he could and sure enough that face was gone.

John-FUCKINH HELL EVAN! You can’t . . . just . . . pull shit like that . . . without warning.   
Evan- maybe if you weren’t so smug.  
John- that's just my face!  
Evan- well fix it cause i’m the alpha right now.  
John- . . .  
Evan- Do you have a condom?  
John-wallet side table.

There was something in Evan voice that was sending shivers to John’s spine both good and bad one’s and reminded him of something, something he couldn’t place. Maybe something he didn’t want to place. It didn’t matter now cause all he could think about was how deep inside him Evan was.

Somewhere along the way there was a rather large thud however there was a lot of thuds and a lot of other things that got mixed into the bunch so they didn’t really notice.  
Till they were laying on the bed silently. Well Evan was sitting and John was still in the same position that Evan had left him. Evan was starting to think he might have hurt him. Maybe he was too aggressive. 

Evan-Johnny are you okay?  
John-Why wouldn’t i be?  
Evan-Cause you haven’t moved since we stopped.  
John-You know that thud we heard in the middle of everything and we agreed it was nothing.  
Evan-Yeeeeaaaahhhh. Thought it was the bed or the neighbors hitting the wall.  
John- It was my laptop and i don’t want to get up and check it cause if it’s broken imma be hella mad and i feel really good right now.   
Evan-I can check it.

Evan went to look at John laptop which was sadly on the floor at the end of the bed and didn’t appear to be broken however skype was open.

Evan-Johnny it’s fine your skype’s open though.  
John-It’s supposed to be i was calling people.

Coincidentally Luke started calling and it automatically picked up. 

Luke-Oh hello i was not expecting to get a full moon when i called.

Referring to John’s current position on the bed, which was soon corrected. As Evan sat down next to a now upright Jonathan.

Luke-Not like it matters nothing i haven’t seen before.  
John-Luke!  
Evan-John?  
Luke-What i’m just saying you're a good butt fuck.  
John-Luke i think you should shut up now.  
Evan-Brotherly love?!  
Luke- Wait is he jealous?.Evan the fabulous hockey player is jealous? Why?  
Evan- . . .  
John-cause we’ve know each other for a long and that little spiel didn’t help.  
Luke-Look I was like 26 and it was john’s 21st birthday so you know i took him to a bar of course for some reason i got more drunk than he did even though it was HIS birthday and a thing happened in an alleyway . . .and yeah but. It never happened again so you have nothing to worry about. He is a good butt fuck though isn’t he?  
Evan-Hell yeah. It's like when-  
John- OKAY! Can we stop talking about my ass now. Luke i have work for you to do cause i’m being called into work again.  
Luke-you need me to check your house for stalkers?  
John-Yeah but don’t talk to them if you see them i don’t know what they’ll do to you. You know the drill.  
Luke- On it. Wait?  
John-sup?  
Luke- Did you drag Evan into this.  
John-He insisted.  
Luke-John. That’s a really bad idea.  
John-I know i warned him.  
Evan-I’m helping whether he wants it or not. .   
Luke- that's not . . . smart, John. What are you doing?  
John- well we're just gonna have to deal with it now. Let me know what you see at my house. Okay?  
Luke-Fine.

Evan and John didn’t get out of bed for the rest of the day they stayed snuggled close to each other. Every Time John got a ‘text from work’ and Evan say a bit of darkness in his eyes he held him a little tighter as they waited for news from Luke.


	13. Delirious's Element Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for some fun. Maybe . . . .

Normally, in these situations John stays up all night pacing his room with the mental excuse that he’s searching for things he would never find. However with Evan here he fell right to sleep. It was light yes but it was still more than he had ever gotten while this anxious. He still woke up earlier than Evan, who was greeted with the site of John staring intensely at his phone. 

Evan- Did he say anything?  
John-He didn’t see anything from afar he’s gonna go and check to see if anythings different when he gets the chance.  
Evan-ah. John?  
John-Hmm  
Evan- Luke seemed really distressed about me being apart of this and . . . you said something about not being sure what the people would do if they found Luke around your house. How bad is it really?  
John- . . . Honestly. Very. I'm a person walking around with things in my head that, weren’t meant for people to know and that makes people with power uncomfortable. It makes them willing to do anything for it including using my friends to find me.  
Evan-but if they can do that, why haven’t they already done it?  
John-they normally would but because we all are on the internet all the time, and we aren't exactly nobodies, we would be missed and some . . . overly paranoid person would put two and two together and figure it out and then everything is up in flames for them.  
Evan-So they won’t kill you then? If they find you?  
John- . . .  
Evan-John?

It was at this time that John got up and started looking through his suitcase. 

John- Well no they can’t really but that doesn’t mean they won’t hurt me, or me hurt them.  
Evan- Have you ever . . . 

John stopped his digging to figure out why Evan had stopped and saw him making a distressed face and John knew exactly what he was talking about. Instead of answering he changed the subject. 

John- i have to leave in two days.  
Evan-I’m coming with you-  
John-No. You're not.  
Evan- What do you mean? What was this week then we can’t live this over the damn computer and we can’t pretend like it didn’t fucking happen.  
John- I’m not saying that.  
Evan-Well then i'm coming with you.  
John-No you're fucking not.  
Evan- What?  
John- It’s too dangerous right now. After i fix this you can but not until i tell you it’s safe. Alright?

John looked at Evan for a bit who seemed to be running the words through his head before he must have accepted it and nodded to John.  
John finally found a outfit he deemed okay, while Evan was in the shower. Yeah things were obviously going down on John’s end but he also has dealt with it before and he wasn’t gonna let it ruin their time together. The guys had planned out the day without them. The only clue they had was Tyler’s text reading: Get ur swim trunks boisss.  
John tossed on a white tank top and his black swim trunks. Evan had to go back to his room to pick up a few things. John followed him like a lost puppy, trailing slightly behind him. The guys mingled in the lobby while Evan went to get changed. To John’s surprise no one asked any questions about him and Evan. Nogla looked like he was gonna say something but Tyler shouted over him.

Tyler-HEY EVAN IS BACK! Now we can go i already called the taxis there waiting. 

And so they piled into the taxis and made their way to their destination a small unknown water-park on the other side of the city. Jonathan was really excited despite his nonchalant expression. He was in his element and if the guys didn’t notice well shame on them. It’s in his name of course. He wasted no time jumping in to the nearest water which happened to be a wave machine. Evan soon joined him seeming a bit less enthusiastic. 

John- Do you not like water?  
Evan-Wha?  
John-You look uncomfortable.  
Evan-I’m just thinking about all the stuff that's happened.  
John- Don’t. Have fun while we're here.

John summed it up with a soft kiss that was interrupted by Nogla and Wildcat splashing water onto them. 

Wildcat- Cut the gay shit. Let’s get on some real rides.  
Nogla-What i thought we were setting a romantic scene.  
Wildcat- Why would- nevermind. Come on the others are at the twister.

The twister was a very steep water slide that lead into a cone much like a few other rides however this one had a lot more water and is not ridden on a inner tube. As the guys approached they read the sign with multiple warnings. No loose shirts, jewelry, or dangly objects of any kind permitted. Glass weren’t recommended. As they got to the top the guy warned that if your bathing suit didn’t exactly fight correctly you might want to try a different ride. Mini put his glasses to the side, While Marcel stepped out of line all together. The others hunkered down and listened to the guy explaining the ride. Tyler started and his yelling didn’t exactly encourage anyone but still the others pushed through. Finally it was John’s turn and he’s far more excited then the rest. The other's screams just encouraged him more, He took a deep breath and pushed off. To Jonathan it was a great feeling the water made it feel like he was levitating not quite touching anything. Like a cushion to what would normally be hard surfaces and provided a lightness that's very difficult to get anywhere else. He relaxed as he swirled around the inside of the giant cone the anticipation building as he got closer to the center. He closed his eyes and waited to hit the water but the sound of something tearing came in between that. Oops.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no, i wonder what happened??? (it's not what your thinking)


	14. Delirious's Element Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welp. Evan is determined to help.

Jonathan was scared to stand at first, as his brain processed the last few moments. However, when he realized he did still have his swim trunks on he stood and look up at opening of the slide and found what remained of his shirt, stuck there. He was brought out of his thoughts by someone coughing lightly in the background. He turned around very suddenly and realized there was quite a few people staring, including the guys. Evan was standing with his mouth covered, looking like he was gonna die of laughter any second. There was a few moms that gave him quick glances as they past by. John realized that were actually staring at his tattoos. He felt very warm it was almost uncomfortable. He didn’t think to much on it and tried to suppress it as he made his way over to the guys. 

Nogla-Wow  
Tyler-Those tatts are freakin’ sick dude.  
Mini-They are. How did you even . . .i mean . . . needles . . .eh  
Marcel- Where’d you get them?

Evan sort of zoned out on the conversation, he had his chance up close and personal with John, to see the art all over his body. However, he noticed that john’s face showed darkness for a quick second at Marcel’s question. Only he would catch it. John looked over his body for a second. 

Marcel- I only ask cause they're so well done and like . . what if i want one.   
Mini- ha ha  
Marcel- Shut up, Mini.  
John- . . .well, i’m sorry then cause i did most of these myself.   
Mini- . . . . your? Self? But needles? Props to you man.  
Tyler- Hey John, what happen to you side?

It was at that John seem to shrink in on himself and Evan noticed. He had seen the weird upraised skin pattern before but he didn’t ask about it. He felt like it was one of those things you should just let be explained to you at a different time. He did make John aware of it cause he had rubbed his hand over it a few times. John said he would tell him but it’s hard for him. 

John-It’s a long story  
Mini-Well-  
John- and i’ don’t really not say.   
Mini-Sorry  
Tyler- My bad dude.

This time Evan wasn’t the only one who noticed John’s weirdly quiet behavior. At some point John had left. The guys had started fighting over whose fault it was for upsetting him (mostly blaming Tyler). Mini detached himself from the debate and joined Evan who was scanning the crowd for John. 

Mini- He’s in the bathroom.  
Evan- Wha?  
Mini- He sent me a message telling me to tell you that he’s in the bathroom since you don’t have your phone on you. 

Evan wasted no time and sprinted to the bathroom which was locked from the inside. He calmly knocked on the door and whispered that it was him. The door was opened and Evan rushed in. John re-locked the door. 

Evan- Are you okay? Did you . . . ?  
John- This isn’t about Tyler asking about the scar. Luke found out someone has been in my house. Their looking for me Evan and there looking harder than they did before. They took some of the papers that i had stashed away which means they probably have all the dirt on me and they won’t have any issue with hunting me down.   
Evan-Shit. What do you do now? Cause you can’t go home.  
John- Um.  
Evan-You aren’t seriously thinking about going home still?  
John- I have to there’s stuff in that house i need to get and i can’t just up and leave Luke. If they went through my house they could have bugged it and then they would know who Luke is and then they can use him. I’m not lettin’ that happen.   
Evan- This is . . .   
John- insane i know. That's why Luke didn’t want you apart of it.   
Evan- What do you think?  
John-I think . . there’s something you're not telling me.  
Evan- You're right but you didn’t ask and it’s obviously nowhere near as crazy as your life. Like Damn dude how have you pulled this off all these years?  
John- I barely have . . . i want it to stop Evan. 

Evan hugged him at that last phrase. Evan wanted to distract John but he knew that this was not the time. Even though John would mostly likely applaud him for taking up his liking of ‘public displays of affection’. Really he was rubbing off on him. A realization hit Evan.

Evan-What if you moved to Canada.  
John- What? oh no no no no. I know what your thinking. I’m not moving in with you that would only make it worse. They could track me there and-  
Evan- and then i would be in my element and i could help you fight.   
John-It’s not your fight though.   
Evan- Blah blah blah. That's so cliche. At least let me do something. You said i was in after all.  
John- . . .  
Evan- . . .   
John- Fine. Fine. Luke is gonna lecture me so hard.  
Evan- You and Luke, was that really a one time thing or . . .  
John- Oh my god Evan!  
Evan- Hey, i’m just curious. 

Jonathan sighed aggressively at Evan. 

Evan- For real though, was it-  
John- No it wasn’t just one time but there is nothing between me and Luke. He’s TOO much like a brother to me, okay? Besides he’s like five years older than me.  
Evan- More than once? Your five years older than me?  
John- What? . . . Shush up! Look if your gonna help me, we have stuff to do and you have things to learn about me. Sadly there not all . . . .hmm you’ll see. 

Evan and John did there best to be calm around the guys. It didn’t stop them from getting handsy in the deep end of one of the rather large pools. The park was emptying out and Evan could tell John was getting antsy and if they didn’t leave soon he would find himself in another restaurant-like situation. It was rather strange, John’s whole personality changed sometimes and it caught Evan off guard. It was just then he realized that John was rather close to him. 

Evan-What are you doing?

He was answered with john nuzzling into his neck and wrapping his arms around him. Evan found it adorable until John started playing with the waistband of his swim trunks before sticking his hand down them all together. He was distracted by John biting his ear and whispering.

‘I’m doing this while i can cause you might hate me when you find out what i’ve done.’

Evan was going to say something but he was to filled with euphoria and the smell of chlorine didn’t help. Instead, He gave in to John’s touch. However, Evan couldn't shake the feeling of unease.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me- Sorry your not getting your shirt back man.  
> John-Fuck you. i liked that shirt.  
> me- i could make your life worse if you like?  
> John- . . . . (sad face)


	15. Enjoyed it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guilty(?) pleasure. hmm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kinda short but important.

Today was the day, the day Delirious was supposed to leave. Evan was in the shower. He had woken up before him and was currently trying to make sure he had all the important points from this week in his head. He wasn’t ready to let him go especially if he was walking into danger. Evan turned off the water which had gone cold without him noticing. He wrapped a towel around himself before going to find some cloths. Tyler had ‘insisted’ that he take his stuff with him since he’s never in his hotel room anyway. Evan paused when he noticed how confused Jonathan looked as he stared out the window. 

Evan-Are you okay?  
John-Just thinking about how i got here.  
Evan-Hmm did you figure it out?

John smiled to himself and nodded before jumping out of bed, rushing over to Evan, and smothering him in kisses.

Evan-Woah! I just showered.  
John-You can shower again?  
Evan- No, you’ll miss your flight.

John stopped at that and looked at the time then, proceeded to rush around the room. Throwing things roughly into his suitcase and trying to get ready, pausing momentarily when Evan dropped his towel to put on boxers. Surprisingly enough they finished with thirty minutes to spare till they had to check out. 

Evan-John what is the terrible thing you said yesterday?  
John-What the stupid pun i made about Tyler being a ‘pussy’ cat. I admit it was pretty bad.  
Evan-No when we were in the pool.  
John-We were at a waterpark?  
Evan-When you stuck your hand down my trunks . . .  
John-Which time?  
Evan-JOHNATHAN!   
John- What?  
Evan- I know you know what i’m talking about, if you don’t want to talk about it just say so . . .  
John- . . . Honestly . . .i don’t want to talk but i pulled you in so you need to know. It’s the field work. It was really bad. . . . like really bad. You know whatimsayin?  
Evan- I think but . . .more info please.   
John- It involves doing unpleasant things to people . . . very unpleasant things . . to people.  
Evan- So your straight up assassins creed, then?  
John- No, wwwweeeeeell sort of. It’s not all for a cause or whatever. . . . I just did what i was told. You know most of the time if a person does disappear from work they usually give up on them after two months.  
Evan- Yeah but you said that you know stuff that others don’t.  
John . . . so does everyone there.  
Evan- So what's the real reason then . . .  
John- I was the best at . . . it. No remorse, no guilt, and i never questioned what they asked me to do. I mean there were consequences if you didn’t but . . .   
Evan- BUT it WAS your job, Your not there anymore and they made you. It’s work it’s not like you enjoyed it.  
John- . . . .  
Evan- oh my god. OH MY GOD. OH. MY. GOD.  
John- I told you you would hate me.  
Evan- What the actual fuck. Like i get it if you laugh at people dying in video games but . . actual people!  
John- Evan  
Evan- Does Luke know about this?  
John-Yeah but-  
Evan- Of course he does, is he the one that helped you with your freaking boners after you come back from a bloodbath.  
John- WOULD YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR A MINUTE, THAT’S NOT HOW THAT WORKS!   
Evan- Then how does it work!  
John- I don’t know. It just happens. It’s not like i sit at home and masterbate to people dying like who does that shit-  
Evan-probably, Jason Voorhees  
John- . . . . Evan, I know it’s bad . . it’s not like i do it on purpose.  
Evan- i feel sick.

Is the last thing John hears before Evan is running to the bathroom and hurling the little breakfast he had. Evan had refused to go with him to the airport he need space to think, he could handle John’s excabitionisnm but this . . . is just way over his head. He knew he would have to talk to him eventually. Turns out it’s gonna be sooner than expected as he gets a text from Luke.

Cartonz: DON’T LET JOHN GO TO THE AIRPORT THEY FOUND HIM. THERE COMING.

Even though Evan didn’t know how he felt right now he certainly couldn’t let the workers get a hold of John . . . .for so many reasons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vanoss- Why so many feels.   
> Me-Feelings are weird. . . I don't like them.  
> Vanoss- I don't know about that but there sure confusing as hell. Whew.  
> Me- Tell me about it.  
> Vanoss- . . .   
> Me- (;


	16. I'm Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Does Evan get there in time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (This would probably be the end of the first part. )

Evan hand called a taxi as soon as he finished reading the text message and he was on his way. The ride felt slow but that was not something he could control all he could do was hope he got there on time. 

John knew this was a bad idea. Once again Luke was right he should have left Evan out of it, although he thought he would be a bit more understanding. He had his earbuds in, once again trying to block out everything in his head. He wished he was at home in his room, where he could dance and scream it all out in private. He was, of course he was delirious . . . so of course it upset Evan, it disrupted his calmness. John slowed down his thoughts when he recognized something out of the corner of his eye. It was them. Shit. He tried to blend in putting his sunglasses on and slowly turning around and heading back to the entrance he had just walked through. He knew they wouldn’t do anything crazy in public but that also meant he couldn't either. He did a quick glance behind. Regretting it. They were clearly following, luckily there was enough distance between them. As soon as he was outside he ran around the side of the building at waited. The guys were standing outside the front doors looking around. John exhaled heavily as his phone started to buzz he quickly answered whispering a hello.

Luke-there at the airport.  
John-no shit. Really? There following me.  
Luke- Crap. I sent Evan to tell you.   
John-You did what. Evan currently is disgusted by me  
Luke-oh . . .you told him?  
John- yes but also if they see him and they realize that he's connected to there gonna-  
Luke- i know. 

There was a long pause as John peeked around the corner again. He saw a taxi pull up and Evan step out with a very panicked face on. John whispered ‘i'm sorry’ to Luke before hanging up the phone abruptly. He knew Luke would protest but the guys out front had clearly made the connection and were approaching Evan. Who also caught on because he paled slightly. They seemed to want him to follow them. They started to walk him to a car. John stepped out from behind the building leaving his luggage behind. His heart was beating hard and the noise around him seemed to slow down. He could feel his phone buzzing all probably from Luke. Evan was the first to see him, his face turning into horror as he shook his head trying to convince John to back up. A few of the guys noticed and turned. John realized they all had guns, slowing down, he subtly put his hands up. Not wanting to attract any attention from other people. He wanted this to be quick and he wanted Evan out of the way. 

Agent-Mr.Dennis. I'm glad you've finally come back i hope you enjoyed the . . . extended vacation let's call it. You can put your hands down.  
John-We all know it wasn’t a vacation.  
Agent-Yes well that was what the cover story was gonna be so your punishment isn’t as server but you sound like you’d rather have it then.   
John-I don’t care.   
Agent-Really?  
John-Just one thing.  
Agent- . . . continue   
John-You never met him. 

He stated as he pointed to Evan.

Agent- Fair enough.  
Evan-Johnny No!

Evan regretted saying that as he saw John wince and the other Agents around them snicker. 

Agent- Johnny. Johnny?! I haven’t heard that nickname since . . .What? Oh right you were fucking that russian chick Lilith haha. She was quite the devil.  
John- Shut up.   
Agent-ooh tough spot. I don’t know why you guys stopped. You see Evan they were almost exactly the same and I think John got tired of looking in the mirror every time he looked at her. She reminded him that he was a terrible person but he loved it anyway. Shame, no . . . horrifying . . . what you did to each other. What kinda sick people find joy in-  
John- He doesn’t-  
Agent- I mean this is why you don’t put two insane people together and that's why Evans here righ-  
John-Stop. That's not-  
Agent- Hey, if he’s gonna be in a relationship he needs to know these things. Not only that, you could probably consider this a part of your punishment. In fact, let's make this your punishment. 

The Agent threw his arm over Evan shoulder as if he was about to tell a funny story to a old friend. John had lunged forward but got pulled back by the guys. There was the darkness that Evan had seen before again. 

Evan-Jonathan?  
Agent-Yes, that is what this is about. Speaking of, look at him. I know you noticed . . . the darkness. John is a very interesting person i mean obviously you've noticed since you have taken a personal interest in him. Or is it intimate-  
John- Stop it.  
Agent-I’ll take that as a yes. Wow. Don’t worry Mr.Dennis we’ll wrap this up soon . Can’t have airport personnel wondering.   
John- Aren’t you in charge of them?  
Agent-Shhh. I was trying to comfort Evan. Anyway, Evan, for your safety you should probably forget about John except for when he’s playing his little computer games as Delirious. Otherwise, no more Jonathan Dennis. Well, correction you’ll hear from him one more time. Good bye.

Evan watched as they forced John into the car and drove away. The sick feeling came back and he had to try really hard not to throw up. There were so many feelings he had right now and he just needed to find a place to sort it all out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Delirious- This sucks.   
> Me- well, at least i didn't make you ride a plane again. I know you hate them in real life.  
> Delirious- This isn't real life?  
> Me- No you fool!   
> Delirious- So you control it. . . . . . FIX IT! FIX ME!   
> Me- um, no, that would be boring plus i can guarantee i'm more messed up than you cause i thought of it. Haha.   
> Delirious- Damn it Hoochie!  
> Me- Hush child.


	17. Two halfs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not quiet what John expected and now friends are in danger.

The last 24 hour was a blur and at some point Evan had passed out. He woke up in Luke’s house to the smell of coffee and the sound of voices. The voices grew more clear it sounded like Mini, Tyler, and Marcel were having a discussion with luke. Evan looked around at the empty room. What did he remember? Johnny got taken away. Was he dead? DId he care? What . . . . of course he did. Evan got up and made his way to the door, slowly opening it not really wanting to interrupt the conversation. Sounds like luke was trying to vaguely explain the reason why John wasn’t going to be around for a while, without giving away any serious life-threatening info. Marcel wasn’t buying the family issue story. Luke saw Evan at the door but continued his story.   
Marcel- i'm not buying this shit.  
Wildcat-so what do you suggest then? If you are lie detector now.   
Mini- can we talk about the fact that John is obviously in serious trouble . . . whatever it is . . . and we aren’t trying to help.  
Luke-You can’t, we can’t if we interfere then things will get a lot worse.   
Marcel-I KNEW IT WASN'T A FAMILY THING!

Evan stepped into the room ready to join the conversation. There may be a few things that he’s unsure about with John at the moment but he truly cares about him. Besides he can’t work out those problems if he’s . . . 

Evan- So what can we do?  
Mini-Yay the boyfriend is back.   
Evan-Mini could you tone it down for a minute cause i can hardly focus with the amount of stuff going through my head.   
Marcel- do you know what’s going on?  
Evan- Yeah but don’t expect me to tell you right now. Luke we need to talk don’t we. 

Luke nodded and took him into the kitchen. He explained that he really didn’t know what they were going to be able to do because he didn’t want to make it worse for Jonathan. It's more likely that John will be able to run away and there best bet is to wait. If something truely important comes up he’ll find a way to get a hold of them. 

Meanwhile (Delirious) 

He had been stuck in this plain white room for a while now and it was driving him crazy. Everything was a bleached white and it was starting to hurt his eyes. This was a technic of theres they knew it drives him crazy. It makes him antsy. Complete silence and white for days, you can’t tell where one wall ends and the other starts it didn’t help- that the small bed was in the center of the room instead of against a wall. It could be the dead of night outside and he wouldn’t know. 

Intercom- It’s okay John just relax. Go a little delirious if you like. Haha.

There was a intercom somewhere in the room but out of all the times he’s been in here he still can’t pinpoint exactly where the voice comes from. The sound bounces around to much on the walls. Makes it sound like it's coming from his own head. He knows better than to take any of their suggestions. At this rate there wasn’t anything he could do till he got out of this room.cHe had a feeling he might have to put on an act if he’s gonna get out of here. There was one thing that didn’t sit right with him why would they bring him back to the same place if he escaped it the first time? Either way he needed out of this room. He got up and started pacing he knew if he looked restless they would think he cracked and would be ready to cooperate. He kept his head down and hugged himself as he walked. 

Intercom- You alright John you seem a little uncomfortable.   
John-. . .   
Intercom- Do you need to take a walk John?  
John- That's not my name. 

The silence that came after his comment was promising he could practically hear the mans winning smile. 

Intercom- Well Delirious i think it’s time to take a walk. 

A door slid open but John waited as some men walked in and dragged him out. He was thankful for the normal lighting. He was joined by the person he assumed was the man from the intercom and told him to follow. The place was exactly as John remeber which means he knew all the weak spots. This felt too comfortable. It was gnawing at the back of his head it needed to be addressed. 

Delirious- Why am i here?   
Man- Cause you ran-  
Delirious- No the real reason if it was because i ran you wouldn’t bring me back to the same place that i was able to escape from. Why. am i here?

The man pushed John into a room and locked the door. 

Man- Look you're here because something is about to happen and i can’t say much but we need your help.   
Delirious- oh so you caught me and threatened my friends cause you knew i wouldn’t want to help.   
Man- That wasn’t our doing.  
Delirious- Wha-  
Man- Mr. Dennis, cause it's obvious your not your other half right now, you’ve been out for three days we took you from the guys who came and got you. There’s some workers who have taken it upon themselves to “make a change” . They are small but they have all the info on the top workers including you. We found you when you were young and you were a god at this job but we knew it was gonna take a toll and that we really couldn’t stop you from trying to escaping. We considered you retired. If we needed you we have trackers in you for that and now we do.   
John- Wait you put a tracker in me?  
Man- We put trackers in all of the workers who are antsy to leave. For situations like this. 

John backed up trying to process what was happening. He had so many questions. 

Man- Sorry i know it’s a lot, my name is Jared by the way. I think-  
John- wait you said they have the info on all of the top workers. Is it up to date?  
Jared- Yeah we update it once a week. That's why he was able to message and call you. We gave you a new phone by the way.   
John- My friends are in there . . . and there obviously not shy about threats.  
Jared- Yes we have a man posted outside of Luke’s house.   
John- I need to go.  
Jared- We can't-  
John- I’ll make you a deal, you let me help my friends and put them somewhere safe . . and i’ll help you get rid of the threat.

Jared paused a moment before moving to a locker on the other side of the room. Bring him clothes, clearance card, and a new phone. 

John- Thank you. I promise i’ll be back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> John- Where you been houchie?  
> Me- Haha. i can't say. You think your life is secretive. Bish please  
> John- Well, okay. Ms. Sassylirious.


	18. Evan's revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John's on a mission but he might not have to be so upset about it now.

John knew this place like the back of his hand and rushed to the garage. He ran around trying to find a car, until he stumbled across a blue lamborghini. He stared at it for a moment. Just cause this was serious didn’t mean he couldn’t have a little fun, besides he’s in a rush and a fast car would do. John hit the road obviously driving way over the speed limit but he was trained to handle this kind of stuff. He wanted to get away from this stuff and he keeps getting pulled back and he can’t lie; he really likes it. He can’t tell if it’s his bad side that likes it though. Well, he can do what he always does and drown himself in music. It was weird being in old cloths with such strange memories attached to them and yet in a new car and an entirely new place. There was still anxiety eating away at his subconscious. Why couldn’t Luke’s house be closer. He just really hoped the threat couldn’t put two and two together. If they were there, was he really going to kill them in front of his friends? They might not want him around after that, then again they might not be around at all if he doesn’t. John was awoken from his thoughts by his phone ringing. He fumbled around for a bit forgetting that he had gotten a new one from the agency. Finally finding it and swerving around a truck.

John- Hello  
Jared- We just got word there seems to be another car outside of Luke’s house.   
John- Okay thanks. J.  
Jared- It’s jare-  
.  
John hung up and sped up. He may suck at driving . . . well a lot of things, in game but a lot of it was fake, he could be a real try hard. Well the time was now. 

He arrived outside Luke’s house just in time to see, the threat knocking on the door and the agents passed out near their car. He grabbed the handgun (they keep one in all the cars at the agency) and made his move. He ran to the door but slowed down when he saw Luke who had his gun out pointed at one man but no one was making a move as the two guys had guns pointed at Marcel, Tyler, and Craig all of which were panicking. The guys turned around when John entered. He pulled out the gun he had and shot the three suited men without thinking. John exhaled trying to keep Delirious from kicking in. He didn’t need that right now.

John- Luke i need you to get everyone to my old house. One person will have to ride with me. Do you understand?

Luke nodded and took scared Marcel, Tyler, and Craig. Evan was still cowering in the corner. John pulled out his phone and informed Jared of the situation. He quickly understood and sent out a ‘clean up’ crew and hung up. John looked at Evan who seemed to have calmed down. 

John- I know you're very confused about how you feel about me right now and . .. this doesn't exactly help but will let me put you someplace safe so you don't get hurt. . . please?

Evan didn’t say anything but let John lead him to the car. It was silent for a long time as they drove down a long winding road surrounded by trees. Finally Evan spoke up. 

Evan- You were wrong.  
John-about what?  
Evan- I do know how i feel . . . about you.  
John- . . .   
Evan- . . . I-i love you, i love the part of you that laughs at stupid things and speaks latin that i can't understand and is actually kinda deep. The one that puts up with the guys shit even though we sometimes make fun of you too much. I just like it when you laugh . . i guess cause that's what i've always heard. The thing is i heard your crazy side too. I realized after i calmed down and thought about it. . . . and i like that too. I don’t like the killing. It would be strange if i did but I know you aorta got forced into that job and that's just how it happened and you can’t help it. I shouldn’t be mad at something you can’t control especially if i didn’t even try to help you first. I love you but i can’t love just half of you . .. i wanna love all of you even the bad side if he lets me in. I know it's gonna be hard but i wanna try. Will you let me in?

John breathed in deeply and his eyes obviously on the verge of tears but none were coming. He bit his lip and nodded. Before leaning over to kiss Evan furiously, 

Evan-JOHN THE CAR! THE ROAD! DRIVE THE CAR!  
John- Sorry got a little ahead of myself.   
Evan- I can’t be your boyfriend if we are both dead from a head on collision with a tree.  
John- We would be fine. We can make a force field out of love. HAHAHAHAhahaha.  
Evan- . . . shut up.  
John- no you can't make me. 

Evan reached and clutched a handful of Jonathan’s crotch causing him to jump and swerve a little. 

John- You told me to pay attention to the road and you're gonna do that.   
Evan-Stop being a annoying then. 

There was a long pause and Evan looked out the window with a pleased smile on his face. Then it hit him.

Evan- Wait so what exactly is happening and why did you kill the agent people? Are you rogue now? Are they hunting you? Are we gonna die? Am i gonna have to kill someone?   
John-There not my agents and no, yes, maybe, and maybe again.  
Evan-Who are they?   
John i wanted to explain this when we were all together so i don't have to do this twice. Also i wasn’t expecting Luke to have guests. What happened.  
Evan- there was some travel transportation issues from what i overheard but they also weren’t buying the story that Luke was spinning about you sooooo here they are.  
John- This is gonna be a lot more difficult.   
Evan-Let me help.   
John-sometimes.  
Evan-Sometimes?  
John- I don't want you to die.   
Evan- neither do i but i can still help.   
John- . . Well i guess we’ll figure out something. We’re almost to the house about five minutes out.

Evan went back to the window

John- One thing Evan if i make you call me Delirious and were not in a kinky situation at the time either ignore me avoid me or punch me in the face.   
Evan- I’ll punch you in the face . . . got it.  
John- Good.  
Evan-Kinky?  
John- I-i i d-don’t know . . i don’t know why i-i said that. 

Evan bit his lip and stared at John for a while until he yelled at him to stop. Which was about the time they arrived at his old house. Evan watched John visibly relax as he saw that Luke’s car was outside. He pulled into the drive and paused. 

Evan-It's gonna be okay.  
John-Right. This is gonna be a lot of explaining. 

They made their way to the door and headed inside to greet the confused people on the other side. Evan stopped John for a second and gave him a light kiss before pushing him inside. .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> John-I have over 9 million subscribers! i'm taking over the world! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
> Me- *claps* Yes your taking over the real world but in this world . . . I'M THE BOSS AND YOU WILL BOW TO ME!  
> John-What if i work with you? Can i be in charge of your army?  
> Me- *shrug* sounds chill with me.  
> john- can i have a teddy bear general?  
> Me- no i can put a teddy bear in your new room though.   
> Johm- YAAAYY! Don't come in after 11pm.   
> Me- *straight face* Your special, aren't you?


	19. Protective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John doesn't like people

Marcel, Mini, and Tyler were staring at Delirious with confused and concerned faces. Cartoonz seemed to be making a plan of his own. Evan was zoned out in the corner.

Mini- so you’re an assassin?  
John-No. Why does everyone say that. You know what, yes, i'm an assassin.   
Tyler- i’m having a hard time being surprised.  
Marcel- Me too. So what do we do now.   
Delirious- You guys. Will stay out of sight for now. I have to go back to agency and give them an update. Luke knows his way around this old house and the woods. Ask him for whatever you need. He's in charge while i'm gone. 

John headed for the door and Evan followed after him. 

Evan- Aren’t you gonna take me?  
John- well you're already following me. It's your choice because your stubborn so there's no point in arguing. You choose as long as you realize you can't run away once you're there and i'm not gonna be the person you're used to seeing.   
Evan- . . .  
John- Just a warning, hurry up, if you're coming.

The ride to the agency was quite, you could practically hear Evan thinking. John put the car back in its original parking space and headed up to meet Jared. Evan trailed quietly behind looking around the very cleaned and brightly lit hallways filled with busy people. He tried to keep up but he was getting distracted and John’s long legs left him at a distance advantage. Finally he stopped to wait for the elevator.

John- Are you okay?  
Evan- Yeah there’s . . . . just a lot of stuff going on in here.   
John- well when we get to my office it will be much calmer, i promise. 

Office? Evan was starting to wonder how important John really was to this whole agency. The office was much nicer than Evan expected. It had a Large dark wood desk on one side and a black leather sofa on the other. One wall had a large display of weapons on it and across from it a large tv.. The carpet was a deep red. 

John- better?  
Evan-yeah, much, nice carpet.  
John- Thanks it’s to hide the blood stains.

John says nonchalantly as he logs onto his computer. He starts typing before picking up the phone on his desk to dial Jared. Evan was trying to figure out if he was lying or not. 

John- I wish i was lying but i'm not. Sorry that was very much an asshole move for me to tell you that.  
Evan- no, really . . . I don't even want to be in here now. I feel like i'm standing on someone.   
John- they were jerks if that helps.  
Evan- Is that how you justify things?  
John- um kinda. Anyway Jared is gonna stop by soon and brief us about the situation. Well get it fixed and then we can play house. If you want.

Evan had a blank stare and it was weirding John out. John got up and pulled Evan to the sofa and sat him down next to him. 

John- Is this to much?  
Evan- No i was just thinking about how much sense this actually makes. I mean no one knows anything about you. The parcour when we first met at the convention. You can't show your face. It all makes sense. It's all just hitting me now . . . i guess and that's why i'm overwhelmed.   
John- You need a minute or . . you know i have wine.   
Evan-Actually Wine sounds really good right now. 

John prepared two glasses of wine and passed one of to Evan who immediately drank from it. It took John a little longer to indulge in his and Evan noticed and made a mental note.

Evan-So you warned me about Delirious, is there anything else I need to know. Like trigger words oooor actions ooooor signs oooor i don't know. . . .other weird things about you . . . 

John was staring down at his wine glass before placing it softly on his desk and started to pace the room. 

Evan- What’s wrong with your wine?   
John-Nothing. I just . . . sometimes it makes me relax enough, and sometimes to much and switch into Delirious without meaning to. I really want to enjoy things but it's hard sometimes So i try to pace myself or wait till im alone.   
Evan- that sounds . . . difficult. Um   
John-What?   
Evan-When you play with us are you . . . him?   
John-Yes most of time anyway. Usually i’m fine when i’m playing solo unless it's an . . . intense game.   
Evan- Oh. so he’s not so bad.   
John-Over a computer screen yeah.   
Evan-So you wanna drink but your scared to?   
John-Yeah   
Evan-Do it i’ll bring you back . . . if he comes around.

Evan offered his glass to him, John hesitated but took it and took a sip. Evan watched for a second as he leaned back and swirled the glass. Evan saw a bit of a change in John’s eyes but nothing stood out.

John- thank you. 

Evan went to say something but there was a knock on the door. John flinched and got up to get the door. 

Jared- Hello John. Oh i didn’t know you brought him along. I thought you were putting him somewhere safe.  
John-He’s helping  
Jared-Haha really? I mean you really think that's a good idea.  
John-Well-  
Jared-You know what nevermind we’ll figure that out later. Here are all the files on the rogue agents and their movements. Luckily they combined their skills but they still lack stealth so here we are. We have a large amount of data on them. This shouldn’t take long and you can go back . . . to your boy toy.

John had grabbed Jared so fast it took Evan a moment to register. 

John-He’s NOT . . . a boy toy.  
Evan- Johnny calm down.

John let go of Jared and took the files. Jared was trying to adjust himself. He put the files on the table and started going through them. Evan sat in the spinny chair and started digging as well.

John- See. This is why i left you all trigger me and if i had stayed, yeah, you know, what missions would be a lot easier to complete but you all would also be fuckin dead to me. I didn’t want this to end with me killing the people i work with so i left. I’m trying to be normal. It's hard to do that when you guys don't know how to clean up your own messes. Evan my boyfriend not a boy toy, is here to keep me from losing my shit so shut up.  
Jared- . . . sorry. . . i’ll leave you to it. Let me know when you want to make a move or if you come up with something new. . . .

Jared left quickly and quietly as John stared him down. He turned back around to look at Evan who had his face crinkled comparing two files. It took him a whle to notice that John was staring. 

Evan- You didn’t have to do that. Be so overprotective. It was kinda hot but also concerning.  
John-Sorry, i just . . . hate this place so much.   
Evan-Well come look at this, i think i found something.

John picked up the wine and drank the rest of it before joining Evan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> John-You don't mess with my stuff. That includes my people.  
> Me-I'm with you on that one.   
> John- That's right *pulls out gun*   
> Me- Whoa calm down it ain't that serious man  
> John-Sorry i got *nervous giggle* carried away.   
> Me- Not yet anyway.  
> John-So i get to use this . . . .  
> Me- ssssshhhh Maybe if your good.  
> John-YAY


	20. Inside John's head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad things happen when you hide yourself away. They tend to grow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mostly in John's head.

I casually admired Evan from behind the chair he sat in. His face was buried in the files. He was explaining to me that the leader was one of the guys that was at the airport. Evan rambled on, i understood what he said but something in the back of my head was aching to come out and the wine wasn’t helping. Neither was Evan’s proximity he just wanted to fuck him against his desks it’s been so long since he’s been in this room. The memories he’s had. Good. Bad. **_Dirty_.** Evan was different it would be the _ultimate conquests_. A _claim_ of his own. Something both sides of him would _enjoy_.

**STOP!**

I shake my head hoping to clear away the darkness that was seeping out of the cracks of the locked door in his head. Hopefully Evan wouldn’t notice his sudden arousal or grim demeanor. The last thing he needed was him coming onto him right now. Put that on the list of things he enjoys to much. It was only a matter of time before the owl saw his true colors and it wasn’t gonna be pretty. He was gonna delay that reality as long as possible. I hear Evan calling my name but i’m to busy trying to clean up the mess in my head

_Oh Jonathan what are you doing, locking yourself away we aren’t opposites. We aren’t another personality well . . . at this rate we will be and that will be an even bigger mess._

Shut up.

 _You're telling yourself to shut up. Haha. We are the same exact person all ur doing is pulling yourself apart just to hide the bad part. You tell people you're learning to live with it, your dark side, but you're trying to disown me and drown me and kill me. Like i’m a mental illne_ ss.

I know you're not. . . i-i mean i know i’m not.

_You don’t act like it. We both know what happens if i die. . . .We both die and not in a theoretical way._

It’s not okay to act like that.

_What are you talking about . . .you got a job that lets you be yourself. You were fine, then you started YouTube and realized people don’t act like that. You turned me into a watered down persona.So here we are being ripped_

Skin tearing. Only threads left. Why does this hurt?

_Cause you're not yourself._

Lying to yourself

_Exactly._

If we’re the same why do you have a different name.

_You tell me. You obviously hate yourself._

What?

_If you hate me then you hate yourself it’s really obvious if you think about it, then again you spend a lot of time trying not to think too much nowadays. You want nothing to do with me. So now i’m ‘Delirious’. Guess what? I'm Jonathan._

SHUT UP!

I realized i had been clutching my head and i was finally able to focus on Evan who had turned around and was making a worried and slightly offended face.

Evan- If you didn’t want me to read the files you could just say so. No need to yell. . . . . You okay?  
John-This place is bad for me.  
Evan-Delirious?  
John-Yes

**_NO! Jonathan!_ **

I breathed in at that last internal outburst. I knew it was true. I can’t keep ignoring myself or it really would turn into a illness. I needed to warn Evan just in case i lost it at any point. I got about most of what i wanted out when Jared walked in the room and i perked up like nothing was amiss. Evan just stared at me, out the corner of his eye.

Jared-We got a hit on their base. Let's go!

Now really wasn’t the time for him to be getting worked up but he didn’t have a choice. Evan never left his side, it was obvious he was trying to make sure he wasn’t losing it.That or he just really wanted the chance to slap me. Which was also fine, it was starting to feel like he needed one.

The mission was a busts mostly just a lot of old files and disposable phones. The place was abandoned all except for one person. Which was now in our custody. Interrogation was under way and I was trying to get away before I was dragged into it. That was one of the things i was known for but ,Evan didn’t need to see me like that. I tried sneaking quietly by and i was nearly in the elevator when i heard someone call my name. I cringed, Evan made a sad face, knowing and fully aware of what was gonna happen. Great it was my ex-boss, Z was his nickname, of course it would be him.

Z-John! It’s been so long. Don’t leave yet the fun's just starting. I know this is your favorite so we're going to ask the questions and let you do the fun part.  
John- i don’t think that's a good ide-  
Z-nonsense we want to solve the problem as fast as possible right? So you can go home.

I wanted to say no again but he was digging his fingers into the weak spot on my shoulder and it was taking everything in me not to fall into the dark and pounce on him. So instead i just nodded. He let go and i let out a sigh as he lead me to the interrogation room. I turned to tell Evan to go upstairs but Z interrupted.

Z-It’s fine, he get the full experience.

I was starting to think that maybe Z is doing this for more than just the memories of old times.

When we reached the room it was silent, ominously silent. The only people were Z, Jared Evan and me on one side of the glass and a person sitting in a chair with blindfold over his face. Evan squeezed my hand and told me it would be fine. No it won’t cause he was already having flashes memories. It was tugging at him. So i did the only thing i could i told Evan not to look and not to listen as much as he could.

Evan-Remember i said i was gonna love both? I need to know what the other is.

With that i let the door open in my head and waited for devastation. It never came in fact it was a pleasant feeling. It was warm and it just made me want to smile. I sat down in front of the man at the desk and took off his blindfold. Jared joined me with a folder of information for questioning. Jared asked for a name but the man refused. This was gonna be a tough one, which means, it's gonna be a lot fun.

Jared- Okay Mr.unknown. You need to answer all my questions or Jonathan here is gonna play a game with you.

Jared went down the list of questions. The man gave vague and unhelpful answers. Some questions he just snickered at and ignored them. It was obvious this guy hadn’t worked at the agency before and was a new recruit otherwise he would of fully cooperated with me in the room.

Jared- I’m afraid it’s John’s turn to play a game with you, since you won’t cooperate.

A door slid open , revealing a wall of knives and pliers and some things that looked like everyday appliances. All things I had seen before. The man laughed. Trying to prove he wasn’t afraid. I picked up some pliers.

John-Wow working with people like you is like pulling teeth.

At that sentence I pull his head back. He really did have nice teeth i will admit, to bad they have to go. The man had the decency to look a little concerned as i latched the pliers onto his canine. I’ll start slow and then bring up the heat some. I start to pull and watch the nerve stretch.

John- You want to say something, now would be the time.

The man screamed a lot more than i expected. I took out the canine and looked at it. The man breathed heavily. I didn’t give him much time to reconsider as i latch the pliers onto a molar.

John- This isn’t gonna stop anytime soon unless you give us some helpful information. the canine is one of the simplest yet painful. I could move onto a molar, you know how many nerves connect that to your gums hmmm? A lot.

The mans mouth was bleeding a rather lot. So much blood. The dark red liquid that i hadn’t been exposed to in a while. Now that i was thinking about it i could smell it too. I pulled on the mans tooth. I knew i wasn’t paying much attention now, i was too busy focusing on the blood spilling out of his mouth, over his dull-in-contrast skin. I breath when i finally felt my hand jerk upwards. The tooth was out and i was right there were quite a few obvious nerves. The man was shaking i couldn’t tell if it was from pain or anger. I really hope it's both. There's a lot more blood now and oh . . . there's that **_warm feeling_** again. The man was mumbling.

John-Speak up, i can’t hear you.  
Man- You can’t really be enjoying this , . . . _John._  
John-My names Delirious and yes i am.  
Man- Bet your acting.

He just called me a liar. Ouch. I turned his chair around and chose a new weapon. Knife of course, nothing better then a good old fashion dull and jagged kitchen knife. Now that he can see me in full it’s probably obvious i am enjoying myself. My boners pretty obvious. Oh there’s the fear i’ve been waiting for.  
Man- You're disgusting  
Delirious- It would be easier if you just answered the questions. I mean it’s fine if you don’t cause obviously i’ll get out a good rub either way after this.  
Man- You need to be locked up  
Delirious- and YOU need to shut up or answer the question. I got a knife.  
Man- it’s a kitchen knife haha.  
Delirious-Yeah it just means i’m gonna have to saw into more to actually it it to cut.

With i set out at a very fast pace, rubbing the knife against the man’s arm. The screams were wonderful and the blood was delicious.

/////////

The man finally gave in when Delirious unexpectedly brought out a branding iron, full boner, and eyes blown wide. Evan had thrown up about two times not because of the blood, the screams or the grossness of it all but he was disgusted with himself. For thinking Delirious was kinda hot like this. Delirious got what he wanted when he got back to his office. He _claimed_ Evan as his own and it took everything in Evan to slap Jonathan back to reality afterwards.

But . . .

What’s next?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Delirious- Blood kinks are normal right?  
> Me- . . . Um . . . ask someone who's not . . . me?  
> Delirious- Oh god.   
> Me- i'm sure your fine.   
> Delirious- The world is a lie.  
> Me- Wait why does having a blood kink make your world a lie. Did someone tell you it;s okay. I mean it could be with the right people but . . um  
> Delirious- Luke why did you lie to me!  
> Me -why did you tell Cartoonz your kink in the first place?  
> Delirious- . . . . shut up. XD -_-' None of your bisnuss   
> me-bisnuss?  
> Delirous -( # ' X ' #) stop. It's private okay?  
> Me-thats all you had to say. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .jeez


	21. ?????

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IM BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER!! LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT THIS TO BE A SERIES. This is the end-ish of this part might add one more chapter after this maybe.

They were laying in a hot and sweaty pile on top of John’s desk. It was really uncomfortable but neither felt like it was worth moving. Evan- Are you . . John or Delirious?

John- We are the same as much as i hate to say it. . . . it’s worse when i pretend we aren’t.

Evan- Ah. . . .my back hurts.

John- I’ll move.

Evan-Noooo . . fuck it’s cold.

John just stood in front of Evan who was laying splayed out on his desk. He giggled as he saw Evan shiver and pout. He lazily tried to pull John back to the table but instead John pulled him up and started redressing him. Which confused Evan.

Evan- What are you doing?

John- Were in my office we can’t stay naked forever. People around here don’t knock.

Evan-Fine but i can do it myself. There was a long silence as they separately got dressed.

John-I’m sorry you had to watch . . .that.

Evan- Don’t apologize i have a bigger problem to take care of now.

John- What?

Evan- i have to figure out why it turned me on so much.

John- Wha- um confuzed?

Evan- You heard what i said? What are you confused by?

John- . . u-umm ..

Evan-your craziness makes me hot okay.

John- When you said you accept both parts of me, i wasn’t expecting that.

Evan- Honestly, neither was i soooo here we are.

John didn’t know what to say part of him was way too excited about this and the other was worried. He wanted to move in for a another kiss but they were interrupted by Jared. Damn it. This man had some interesting timing. Jared- it’s time. The car ride out was tense and the seriousness of the situation was obvious. Evan had never seen John so serious. Even though he had agreed to let Evan help him it still took him a while to agree to let him come. _Hey, maybe he’ll surprise us._ John shook off the thoughts he did have to admit it felt like there was something Evan wasn’t saying. He couldn’t focus on that right now.

**The agents spread out around the building as Jared and John moved in. Evan had left John's side and was working his own way inside the building. John was unaware of that and had assumed he was staying behind. With the nervousness of Evan getting hurt subsided he charged in and did what he does best. The agency had favored him for his lack of remorse as well has being overly analytical. As John ran through the gun fire, which for him seemed rather slow, he started taking knives to people's throats and it wasn’t long before the gunfire stopped. Evan was watching from the top level with uncertainty and amazement at John’s agility. It was his turn however, he saw them look around for the boss who wasn’t in the carnage of bodies. They must have caught on, as they headed to the second floor. Evan moved quickly through the top floor, it was empty so far. He rounded a corner and came face to face with the boss. He realized hadn’t actually thought this through. He just wanted to help them find him, but now it was his life or the life of a man who had been terrorizing his boyfriend and with that he unloaded the clip into the guy's head.**

Evan. _So that's what that feels like? To take someone’s life. I can hear John screaming my name behind me . . . but . . . I . . . i thought it would . . . hurt. Maybe i would feel bad? Maybe later?_

John-Evan, We need to go NOW!

Evan let himself be dragged out of the building and into the car he was still thinking. John was looking at him concerned waiting for a response or for tears whichever came first but he was silent the rest of the ride. John had paperwork to fill out when they returned to the agency. He did the best he could but he couldn’t stop thinking about Evan. That wasn’t new but the worry that came with it was. Soon they were on the road again, heading back to the house. Silence.

John-Evan are-

Evan- Stop.

John- What?

Evan- Stop the car.

John pulled over on the dark wooded road and watched Evan get out, he heard a heavy sigh and a gagging noise. Before Evan got back in the car.

John- i know it’s uncomfortable, but you can talk about it . . i-it’s probably hard to wrap your head around bu-

Evan-It wasn’t hard and i don’t feel bad.

John i- John-are you sure about that? Caues-

Evan-Listen . . .please.

John- . . ok

Evan- i'm overprotective, to put it extremely lightly like it’s an understatement. They thought i had a personality disorder, that i didn’t like being alone it only showed up sometimes and with certain people. I’m rambling . . how do i explain this? .. . . basically nothing else matters but you even if that means i need to kill someone to get to you. Sometimes my brain comes up with scenarios to explain my actions make me think i did it for myself but i didn’t. That's why a lot of my relationships have ended so badly.

John- You killed someone else?

Evan- NO! Haha no i mean . . .like i . . . offered.

John- Yeah normal people don’t like that.

Evan- Hey what is that supposed to mean?!

John- WHat do you think it means . . Ev were both not normal and that makes me surprisingly happy but still no more killing people. I don’t care if you feel bad or not, it will take a toll on your conscious eventually. Evan- Does it take a toll on yours. John- yeah but for a different reason. Let's get home.

 **Evan rounded the corner on the upper level of the building and saw the boss sitting there a sniper pointed at John as he walked up the steps. Evan unloaded the clip into the man's head**.

_His life or John’s? No. My life or his._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> delirious- i thought you left?  
> Me- well, yeah that i realized. iit's not like i have anything better to write. :)  
> Delirious- Yay i get to be a star.   
> Me- OOoooooh so now you like bing shipped with people.  
> Delirious- shush up. i just like being apart of stories.  
> Me- whatever floats your boat.  
> Delirious-Boats and hoes.


End file.
